I'm just going to say it, being offended is a choice. That's right, we can choose to be offended or not to be offended by the actions of others. No one forces us to be offended, WE choose to be offended. Does the very idea of that statement offend us?
If someone does something "stupid" or hurtful towards us or someone we love or anyone for that matter shouldn't we have the right to be offended. Why wouldn't we CHOOSE to be offended?
Good question. Let's think about this, what purpose does being offended serve? Is being offended going to be a good use of our energy? What kind of energy is produced by our body when we become offended, is it positive or negative? Is there some better choice we can make besides choosing to be offended?
It seems being offended serves no purpose other than to point out to us that there is an issue we need to deeply look at. Our indicator light is going off and if we give in to our feelings and choose to be offended, that leads to anger, which is only negative. Instead of choosing to offended perhaps it would be more beneficial to choose to take a deeper look into our selves and find out what seems so offensive to us.
OK if we are going to let go of our right to feel offended how can we do that?
First stop making assumptions. We all spend so much time assuming we know exactly why someone has done something and most of the time we have no clue what we are talking about. We can come up with all kinds of little scenarios in our mind for why people are doing what they are doing and literally make ourselves crazy if we are not careful and don't control our minds. Unless we are living in someone elses skin we truly have no way of really knowing or understanding the intentions behind their actions. Basing our ideas, opinions and actions on assumptions is dangerous. Why would we continue to choose to do it?
Second keep in mind our opinions are not FACTS.
Let's look at the definition of the word opinion:
A personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty.
A message expressing a belief about something; the expression of a belief that is held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.
A vague idea in which some confidence is place.
We may feel entitled to our opinions and we may think we have a great basis for forming our opinions, but using our opinions to try to "teach" others or forcing our opinions on others truly serves no purpose. My husband likes to say opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and they all stink. Kind of crude and funny, but really very insightful when you think about it. The most useful thing we can do with our opinions is keep them to ourselves, but that's just my opinion.
How about the next time someone does something that normally we would take offense to we simply stop, look at what we feel is offensive about what they have said or done and instead of choosing to be offended and going on the defensive we simply look within ourselves to see what we can learn from the situation.
What if we could look at the offensive person or act as merely a vehicle for delivering some message we needed to receive and instead of being angry and resentful we actually feel a bit of gratitude for being given the opportunity to learn something. What a different way to look at the offensive situations and people in our lives!
It won't be easy and it will take practice, but are we willing to let go of our right to be offended and look for a new way to view the "offensive" situations and people in our lives?
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