An interesting thing just happened to me. I have been thinking of cleaning my house for awhile now. I want to clear out as much unneeded clutter as I can and just open up the space and make the energy more comfortable for me and those who live here. I've been putting it off and putting it off because usually there is so much clutter it is just a huge, overwhelming job. I tend to collect a lot of clutter, no matter how much work I do cleaning...I just hold on to things and don't put them away in a place where they belong or serve a purpose.
So, yesterday I choose one tiny room...OK, the room chose me because someone failed to let the dog out and he made a mess in there! (This is how this stuff works people!) I saw the mess and started to feel overwhelmed and then thought to myself, I might as well just clean the whole room and be done with it. I was surprised to find that because I have been slowly and carefully working on removing clutter from my home and I've had some help from my family doing this, there was not that much clutter to remove and cleaning went very quickly! There is still some work to do in that room, but I am comfortable with what I've accomplished so far. I'm looking for comfort here, not perfection!
This morning I decided to work on the room my daughter stays in when she comes home. The last time she was home she had to sleep on the couch because things had started just piling in this empty room. I carefully opened the door, which would only open part way because of the stuff sitting in front of it. I had a moment of dread thinking, how much stuff is piled in there if the door won't even open? I let that go and peeked in. Actually most of the stuff was just piled right in front of the door and there really wasn't that much stuff. I made my way into the room and slowly started sorting through the stuff. Anything that no longer served a purpose in our house went in the give away pile, anything that had no purpose to anyone went in the throw away pile, anything I needed to save got put in storage place and anything that could still be of use was placed in an easily accessible place. When I came across anything iffy, instead of pondering over it and taking a trip down memory lane with it, I simply placed it in a big plastic tub to consider later. Before I knew it the room was neatly organized and ready to be dusted, vacuumed and just generally cleaned. Removing the clutter got me down to the point where I could remove the real dirt.
I came into my computer room for a little break and what occurred to me was this...my house represents my life. My life had become very cluttery, I hold on to things (past experiences, emotions, people, ideas) for too long, I'm afraid to let things go because I might need them some day, I don't tend to put things in a proper, useful place in my house (life), but just kind of lay them where ever is handy and then ignore them until I need them and then when I need them and can't find them, I become completely overwhelmed at the huge mess I have created. I am aware of the messy state of my house (life) and some times agonize over it, but mostly I just look at it, ignore it or feel guilty, but don't take steps to get my house (life) back into order. I don't often ask for help in cleaning up that mess I've created because I see it as my own responsibility and I feel guilty asking others for help in cleaning up the mess I've made yet, when I ask for help I receive it and it always makes my job so much easier, sometimes even fun.
Recently I've begun to take responsibility for the mess my house and life appear to be in. I've asked for help when I've needed it, I've looked things over and released them, put them in the proper place or set them aside until I could more clearly determine what to do with them. Most importantly I've learned to not judge myself or anyone else for the mess that I see, but to just acknowledge it and move forward in cleaning it up. Because of all of this I can see that my mess has gotten much less difficult to manage. I still have a lot to sort through and put in it's proper place, but I'm making progress!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Heal Yourself
Having struggled with chronic pain and illness since I was 14, which eventually led to being almost bed ridden when I was 33 has caused me to think a lot about healing. At first when you are sick there are many doctor's visits and scary evasive testing. Each time they thought they knew what was wrong with me and each time the tests would show nothing conclusive. Eventually you hit a point where you just want to be left alone. No more poking, no more prodding, no more well meaning advice. It's easier to just suffer quietly, doing your best to live whatever life you can. You no longer want to go to the doctor or put yourself through any testing and when you do there is a part of you that secretly hopes they finally find something really wrong so you have an explanation for all of your pain and suffering.
When you have an invisible condition, one that can't really be proven with tests that show the eye what the problem is, being ill is even more complicated. Well meaning people often assume if you would just get out and move you would feel better, or that you are just depressed because you don't get out and do anything. Sometimes people will even tell you that you are lucky it isn't something fatal. Little do they know how often you may wish it were so your pain would end.
Our bodies were not meant to be sick, they were originally built to heal themselves. The problem is we no longer remember how to do that and sometimes, even if we do have an understanding of how it works, we still can't seem to grasp it or accept it or "heal ourselves". If we understand our bodies can heal themselves we often feel guilty for not being able to heal ourselves, which only adds to our pain.
I've studied many natural healing techniques and I believe they can help, the problem for me comes in the guilt I often feel in not being capable of figuring out how to get them to work for myself. It seems part of the solution is to believe that it can work, then to accept that it can work and then believe you are worthy of being free from the pain and being able to really imagine being free from the pain. Of course there are also times when we seriously do need medical treatment to start the healing process. Doctors are great healers, I have no doubt that some of them work miracles, but I also know many times their knowledge leads mainly to treating the symptom by filling you with meds rather than curing the cause.
I've come a long way since I started my journey into healing, I can do things now that a year ago my body could not have done. I still have a ways to go, but I keep learning and focusing on being healthy and whole and letting go of the guilt of being sick to begin with.
For me my healing began when I started slowing down and tuning into my body instead of trying to escape it. I was so busy for most of my life trying not to focus on feeling the pain that I had learned to completely detach from most of the pain in my body. Connecting with it again so that I could recognize it, was painful, but it helped me to understand what I was truly experiencing. I also had to let go of feeling guilty for being sick to begin with. I had to forgive myself and give myself permission to really listen to my body and follow through with what it needed. I had to learn to be accepting of being sick. If I needed rest, I laid down, if I needed to soak in the tub in the middle of the day to relax my muscles, I soaked in the tub, I really listened to my body for the first time in 30 years. This was a long and painful process and I struggled and spent many dark hours praying and looking for a light at the end of the tunnel.
A major turning point came for me when I found a support group. I had literally shut myself off from everyone after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Not so much by choice, but because it was just easier to stay home and try to keep myself comfortable and not have to answer any questions or deflect all of the well meaning advice. In this online group of women I found love, acceptance and understanding and for the first time in many, many years I felt like I belonged somewhere and could really talk about how I felt. There were others who really felt my pain. We all blossomed in each others loving care.
The next step in my journey was deciding I could sit in the house being in constant pain, suffering all alone, or I could take a chance and go out and try to do something. Whether I stayed at home or went somewhere I was going to be in pain. I decided I could head out and if the pain was too much, I could always come back home. Sometimes getting out really did help me feel better, sometimes I became really ill after being out, but had enjoyed myself so much it was worth it and other times I would only be out for a little while and then would have to come back home. I always had to weigh how I felt and whether or not it was worth the energy of going out. Judging how much energy I had and how much I was willing to use on what tasks or events was a daily part of life.
My big turning point came as a culmination of four things...because of tachycardia all of my meds were taken away, we cut wheat from my diet, I made a deep connection with a friend who I could really express myself to and I began to meditate daily. Getting the meds and wheat out of my system helped cleanse my body. Feeling safe enough to open up to someone who really listened to me without judgment and allowing myself the time to sit quietly in meditation so that I could connect with my inner self, cleansed my soul.
Our body can not heal if our soul feels sick, likewise it's difficult to heal our soul if our body is screaming so loudly in pain that we can't hear it. The two are connected, the two must be treated together.
I am not healed yet, but I have made great improvements in the last year. Just this week I went to my chiropractor and for the first time since I was 14 he did not have to adjust my neck and I could say that my neck was not hurting. My healing is still a work in progress, but I'm learning and I'm grateful for all of the experiences along the way and the sometimes painful lessons they've taught me. I'm sure there will be more to share about this part of my journey and what has helped me to heal, but this has been long enough for now.
When you have an invisible condition, one that can't really be proven with tests that show the eye what the problem is, being ill is even more complicated. Well meaning people often assume if you would just get out and move you would feel better, or that you are just depressed because you don't get out and do anything. Sometimes people will even tell you that you are lucky it isn't something fatal. Little do they know how often you may wish it were so your pain would end.
Our bodies were not meant to be sick, they were originally built to heal themselves. The problem is we no longer remember how to do that and sometimes, even if we do have an understanding of how it works, we still can't seem to grasp it or accept it or "heal ourselves". If we understand our bodies can heal themselves we often feel guilty for not being able to heal ourselves, which only adds to our pain.
I've studied many natural healing techniques and I believe they can help, the problem for me comes in the guilt I often feel in not being capable of figuring out how to get them to work for myself. It seems part of the solution is to believe that it can work, then to accept that it can work and then believe you are worthy of being free from the pain and being able to really imagine being free from the pain. Of course there are also times when we seriously do need medical treatment to start the healing process. Doctors are great healers, I have no doubt that some of them work miracles, but I also know many times their knowledge leads mainly to treating the symptom by filling you with meds rather than curing the cause.
I've come a long way since I started my journey into healing, I can do things now that a year ago my body could not have done. I still have a ways to go, but I keep learning and focusing on being healthy and whole and letting go of the guilt of being sick to begin with.
For me my healing began when I started slowing down and tuning into my body instead of trying to escape it. I was so busy for most of my life trying not to focus on feeling the pain that I had learned to completely detach from most of the pain in my body. Connecting with it again so that I could recognize it, was painful, but it helped me to understand what I was truly experiencing. I also had to let go of feeling guilty for being sick to begin with. I had to forgive myself and give myself permission to really listen to my body and follow through with what it needed. I had to learn to be accepting of being sick. If I needed rest, I laid down, if I needed to soak in the tub in the middle of the day to relax my muscles, I soaked in the tub, I really listened to my body for the first time in 30 years. This was a long and painful process and I struggled and spent many dark hours praying and looking for a light at the end of the tunnel.
A major turning point came for me when I found a support group. I had literally shut myself off from everyone after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Not so much by choice, but because it was just easier to stay home and try to keep myself comfortable and not have to answer any questions or deflect all of the well meaning advice. In this online group of women I found love, acceptance and understanding and for the first time in many, many years I felt like I belonged somewhere and could really talk about how I felt. There were others who really felt my pain. We all blossomed in each others loving care.
The next step in my journey was deciding I could sit in the house being in constant pain, suffering all alone, or I could take a chance and go out and try to do something. Whether I stayed at home or went somewhere I was going to be in pain. I decided I could head out and if the pain was too much, I could always come back home. Sometimes getting out really did help me feel better, sometimes I became really ill after being out, but had enjoyed myself so much it was worth it and other times I would only be out for a little while and then would have to come back home. I always had to weigh how I felt and whether or not it was worth the energy of going out. Judging how much energy I had and how much I was willing to use on what tasks or events was a daily part of life.
My big turning point came as a culmination of four things...because of tachycardia all of my meds were taken away, we cut wheat from my diet, I made a deep connection with a friend who I could really express myself to and I began to meditate daily. Getting the meds and wheat out of my system helped cleanse my body. Feeling safe enough to open up to someone who really listened to me without judgment and allowing myself the time to sit quietly in meditation so that I could connect with my inner self, cleansed my soul.
Our body can not heal if our soul feels sick, likewise it's difficult to heal our soul if our body is screaming so loudly in pain that we can't hear it. The two are connected, the two must be treated together.
I am not healed yet, but I have made great improvements in the last year. Just this week I went to my chiropractor and for the first time since I was 14 he did not have to adjust my neck and I could say that my neck was not hurting. My healing is still a work in progress, but I'm learning and I'm grateful for all of the experiences along the way and the sometimes painful lessons they've taught me. I'm sure there will be more to share about this part of my journey and what has helped me to heal, but this has been long enough for now.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Mrs. Fixit
I recently had a discussion with a friend about listening and how we all need to learn to listen to each other without getting distracted by our own thoughts and how we need to really listen from a place of love and compassion rather than a place of how can I fix this? That led to a deeper discussion of how we tend to be fixers and we are all very focused on how we can fix everything. We are a nation of fixers, if something feels off or broken to us in anyway we must try to fix it, it's our duty, it's our right, it's our purpose. I see others do this all the time and I see myself struggle with this on a daily basis.
What if we were to let go of our fix it role? What if we were to simply listen to what someone has to say and we just hold them exactly where they are? What effect would that have on that person? What effect would it have on us?
I can envision us all sitting here now say, "Yes, but if I don't point out to you where your idea is wrong or how your actions are damaging, then how will you ever learn to act in a different manner. How will you change, how will you stop offending me with your behavior?"
After thinking these thoughts I suddenly see that not only are we fixers, we suddenly see ourselves as victims. I need to fix you so that your behavior no longer offends and hurts me. What you are doing is hurting me.
Wait a minute...what happened there? I am going to fix what is outside of me so I feel better about me? I sense a problem here. Can we fix or change anyone other than ourselves? When we look outside of ourselves do we find all of the answers to our problems? Can we blame everything that we see as dark about ourselves, every struggle in our life, every pain, infliction or illness on something outside of our self? OR do we have the free will to make choices about how we experience ourselves in our world and so we must take responsibility for our own "dark stuff"?
As a person who has suffered from physical, verbal and mental abuse, one who has in turn inflicted abuses on others and one who has suffered for years from illness and injuries including broken bones and fibromyalgia, having it pointed out that maybe I am choosing some of this does not feel very good to me. But, it does give me hope in the idea that I HAVE A CHOICE IN CHOOSING HOW I REACT TO THE WORLD AROUND ME. I am not a victim of fate or circumstances, I am simply experiencing the results of my choice in how I react to situation I am in. If this is true then I choose to no longer see myself as a victim, I choose to no longer see myself as a damaged ill person who needs repair. I choose to see that no one has taken my power and no one is responsible for my actions but me.
We are going to experience difficult situations through out our life times, but we have the choice in how we respond to this, we have the choice in deciding whether we are going to play the victim role or whether we are going to use our power to learn a lesson from our experiences and use them to grow or if we want to let them crush us and make us angry, bitter and resentful. We have the choice always to act out of love and compassion or act out of anger, revenge and hate. No one forces that on us, no one causes us to feel either way, it is our choice...it is part of our gift of free will.
May we all learn to choose love and compassion in all situations and if we don't, may we be willing to accept that as a choice, not see it as damage and try to fix it or judge it. May we let go of trying to fixit and instead choose love, let it be and if a shift needs to be made, it will happen when we are ripe and ready.
What if we were to let go of our fix it role? What if we were to simply listen to what someone has to say and we just hold them exactly where they are? What effect would that have on that person? What effect would it have on us?
I can envision us all sitting here now say, "Yes, but if I don't point out to you where your idea is wrong or how your actions are damaging, then how will you ever learn to act in a different manner. How will you change, how will you stop offending me with your behavior?"
After thinking these thoughts I suddenly see that not only are we fixers, we suddenly see ourselves as victims. I need to fix you so that your behavior no longer offends and hurts me. What you are doing is hurting me.
Wait a minute...what happened there? I am going to fix what is outside of me so I feel better about me? I sense a problem here. Can we fix or change anyone other than ourselves? When we look outside of ourselves do we find all of the answers to our problems? Can we blame everything that we see as dark about ourselves, every struggle in our life, every pain, infliction or illness on something outside of our self? OR do we have the free will to make choices about how we experience ourselves in our world and so we must take responsibility for our own "dark stuff"?
As a person who has suffered from physical, verbal and mental abuse, one who has in turn inflicted abuses on others and one who has suffered for years from illness and injuries including broken bones and fibromyalgia, having it pointed out that maybe I am choosing some of this does not feel very good to me. But, it does give me hope in the idea that I HAVE A CHOICE IN CHOOSING HOW I REACT TO THE WORLD AROUND ME. I am not a victim of fate or circumstances, I am simply experiencing the results of my choice in how I react to situation I am in. If this is true then I choose to no longer see myself as a victim, I choose to no longer see myself as a damaged ill person who needs repair. I choose to see that no one has taken my power and no one is responsible for my actions but me.
We are going to experience difficult situations through out our life times, but we have the choice in how we respond to this, we have the choice in deciding whether we are going to play the victim role or whether we are going to use our power to learn a lesson from our experiences and use them to grow or if we want to let them crush us and make us angry, bitter and resentful. We have the choice always to act out of love and compassion or act out of anger, revenge and hate. No one forces that on us, no one causes us to feel either way, it is our choice...it is part of our gift of free will.
May we all learn to choose love and compassion in all situations and if we don't, may we be willing to accept that as a choice, not see it as damage and try to fix it or judge it. May we let go of trying to fixit and instead choose love, let it be and if a shift needs to be made, it will happen when we are ripe and ready.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Oneness
I don't know how many people that will read this have thought about the concept of Oneness or even heard of Oneness, but it's something that a lot of people are talking about lately and it's on my mind so I will write about it.
To me the idea or concept of Oneness is that we see all of our differences and understand that even though we can be extremely different, unique individuals with different point of views and beliefs, we understand that we all are actually one, a piece of the whole...kind of a little slice of the oneness pie so to speak.
What I've noticed lately is that a lot of people who throw around the word Oneness actually mean that you should join with their point of view or idea and be at one with them. Many of them throw the word out there and seem to have an understanding of the idea that we are all One and we've all been all there is to be and yet turn around and preach about hate and intolerance. It's almost as if they are screaming...we are all ONE and then turning around and pointing out how separate we all are with their own behavior. It brings to mind the phrase actions speak louder than words.
Do we want to be a part of one or do we want to be the only one, one who holds our self and our views as higher than others? Can we be a part of one and be higher or lower than others or are we all equal? Are all of the slices of the oneness pie equal or are some bigger and some smaller than others? Is there one piece of pie that is so much greater than others or are they all equally important to the whole pie?
It seems to me that the key to finding Oneness is looking at everyone and not holding judgment, it's seeing that we aren't somehow wiser or higher or more than anyone else, it's seeing that every one out there is a piece of us reflecting something back to us that we need to see. It doesn't seem to me that we can display Oneness if we are willing to hate anything. But that's just my point of view...what do I know?
To me the idea or concept of Oneness is that we see all of our differences and understand that even though we can be extremely different, unique individuals with different point of views and beliefs, we understand that we all are actually one, a piece of the whole...kind of a little slice of the oneness pie so to speak.
What I've noticed lately is that a lot of people who throw around the word Oneness actually mean that you should join with their point of view or idea and be at one with them. Many of them throw the word out there and seem to have an understanding of the idea that we are all One and we've all been all there is to be and yet turn around and preach about hate and intolerance. It's almost as if they are screaming...we are all ONE and then turning around and pointing out how separate we all are with their own behavior. It brings to mind the phrase actions speak louder than words.
Do we want to be a part of one or do we want to be the only one, one who holds our self and our views as higher than others? Can we be a part of one and be higher or lower than others or are we all equal? Are all of the slices of the oneness pie equal or are some bigger and some smaller than others? Is there one piece of pie that is so much greater than others or are they all equally important to the whole pie?
It seems to me that the key to finding Oneness is looking at everyone and not holding judgment, it's seeing that we aren't somehow wiser or higher or more than anyone else, it's seeing that every one out there is a piece of us reflecting something back to us that we need to see. It doesn't seem to me that we can display Oneness if we are willing to hate anything. But that's just my point of view...what do I know?
Friday, March 18, 2011
Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love? When we love someone unconditionally does that mean that we love them completely no matter what they do our how their actions effect us? If we love each other unconditionally does that mean that we can treat each other however we want to with no boundaries or limits? These are all important questions.
It seems there are many people who think unconditional love requires us to drop all boundaries and limits and accept whatever behavior we are presented with. Many come across with the attitude that because of unconditional love we should be completely accepted no matter how we choose to act towards others.....this is where the key lies....how we CHOOSE to act towards others.
Because of free will we ALL have a choice in how we act towards others. If we choose to display behavior that is in some way harmful to others that is our choice, but with choices also comes responsibility and we have to be prepared to accept responsibility for the actions we display and the choices we make. If we choose to treat people in a manner that is harmful to them, eventually we may find ourselves alone, this is a consequence of our choice and it is our responsibility to accept it.
We also have a responsibility to ourselves to determine what behavior is and is not acceptable to us. Love starts from with in us and so we must learn that it is acceptable to set boundaries and limits for what type of behavior we will and will not accept in our lives. When we set our boundaries we must then ask ourselves if we are willing to follow those boundaries ourselves when interacting with the people in our world. We can't expect treatment from someone that we are not willing to display oursleves. If we want respect we must give respect, if we want love we must give love, if we want trust we have to give trust, if we want others to listen to us we must listen to them. We can't expect to receive what we are not willing to give.
We are all fully capable of loving others while not condoning the actions or choices they are making. It's perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for our own safety and to say to someone, "I love you, but your behavior is hurtful to me or to others and I do not want to be a party to this behavior." Setting boundaries and limits helps to ensure that we are treated in a safe, healthy manner. We could think of boundaries like the structure or frame work of our relationships. They may need to be flexible and may have to shift or be reinforced as we learn and grow and shift through our lifetimes.
As always love starts from within ourselves and we have to love our self first so that we can love others. If we continually accept treatment that is in some way destructive to us, we are not loving our self and we are helping no one. We can love someone without going along with the behavior they display or the choices they make.
The best way to form a boundary is to think to our self, how would I want to be treated? Then ask am I willing to give that treatment to others. Then we have to keep in mind that our boundaries don't need to be set in cement, but must be flexible and able to shift and support the changes we encounter through out our lives. As our conditions and view points change, so might our boundaries.
If we would all love our self and love others as we would like to be loved our self and treat others as we would like to be treated our self imagine what a difference we'd see in the world.
It seems there are many people who think unconditional love requires us to drop all boundaries and limits and accept whatever behavior we are presented with. Many come across with the attitude that because of unconditional love we should be completely accepted no matter how we choose to act towards others.....this is where the key lies....how we CHOOSE to act towards others.
Because of free will we ALL have a choice in how we act towards others. If we choose to display behavior that is in some way harmful to others that is our choice, but with choices also comes responsibility and we have to be prepared to accept responsibility for the actions we display and the choices we make. If we choose to treat people in a manner that is harmful to them, eventually we may find ourselves alone, this is a consequence of our choice and it is our responsibility to accept it.
We also have a responsibility to ourselves to determine what behavior is and is not acceptable to us. Love starts from with in us and so we must learn that it is acceptable to set boundaries and limits for what type of behavior we will and will not accept in our lives. When we set our boundaries we must then ask ourselves if we are willing to follow those boundaries ourselves when interacting with the people in our world. We can't expect treatment from someone that we are not willing to display oursleves. If we want respect we must give respect, if we want love we must give love, if we want trust we have to give trust, if we want others to listen to us we must listen to them. We can't expect to receive what we are not willing to give.
We are all fully capable of loving others while not condoning the actions or choices they are making. It's perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for our own safety and to say to someone, "I love you, but your behavior is hurtful to me or to others and I do not want to be a party to this behavior." Setting boundaries and limits helps to ensure that we are treated in a safe, healthy manner. We could think of boundaries like the structure or frame work of our relationships. They may need to be flexible and may have to shift or be reinforced as we learn and grow and shift through our lifetimes.
As always love starts from within ourselves and we have to love our self first so that we can love others. If we continually accept treatment that is in some way destructive to us, we are not loving our self and we are helping no one. We can love someone without going along with the behavior they display or the choices they make.
The best way to form a boundary is to think to our self, how would I want to be treated? Then ask am I willing to give that treatment to others. Then we have to keep in mind that our boundaries don't need to be set in cement, but must be flexible and able to shift and support the changes we encounter through out our lives. As our conditions and view points change, so might our boundaries.
If we would all love our self and love others as we would like to be loved our self and treat others as we would like to be treated our self imagine what a difference we'd see in the world.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Seed of Love
May you know love, right now, right here, where ever you are and whatever you think of yourself. KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED and SHARE THAT LOVE WITH EVERYONE!
It only takes one tiny seed of love to grow a plant that will bloom and produce the seeds for more love flowers. Plant the tiny seed, nurture it and soon you will find yourself in a garden of love. YOU ARE THE SEED! Love to you ALL!
It only takes one tiny seed of love to grow a plant that will bloom and produce the seeds for more love flowers. Plant the tiny seed, nurture it and soon you will find yourself in a garden of love. YOU ARE THE SEED! Love to you ALL!
Choices
Let's face it, people are going to let us down, nobody is going to live up to all of our expectations, people are going to make choices we totally do not agree with. What can we do about this? Nothing. We have no control over anyone but our self.
Upon our arrival at birth each of us has been given a wondrous gift. It's called free will and we all have it and we can all use it. Would life be easier without freewill? I don't know, but I do know it would be a lot less interesting. Not only that, if we didn't have choices to make how would we learn our lessons? If we were just handed a script to follow it'd be like being handed a test with all of the answers filled in. What would we learn from that?
Think back over your life, from what situations did you learn your most important lessons? For most of us, if we are honest, it's been through our difficult times. The times we make "bad" choices often are the ones that teach us the most. It seems that sometimes we have the need to experience some really difficult things to really learn a deep lesson. Maybe it's those deep, difficult lessons that indicate we are becoming really advanced as a soul.
Think about this, we usually look at someone who makes what seem like really "bad" choices and think, what are they thinking, how could they be so stupid or irresponsible. But what if these people have decided to learn some really HUGE lessons in a way that they will sink in and have a soul changing, perhaps soul cleansing effect on them. What if in order to really advance our souls and to be able to fully appreciate all aspects of life we would choose to experience some really dark situations. If this were true it would help us to look at others differently and perhaps find more understanding for them. More importantly it could help us to look at ourselves in a different light and not be so hard on ourselves.
What if we were to look at all of our experiences and those of the people around us as choices that we've made in order to learn some lesson. What if we realize that no one is judging us, we are merely being observed as we learn and perhaps even guided with a sense of love. Wouldn't that be interesting? Wouldn't that help us to be able to let go of some of our guilt and our judgments of ourselves and others?
We can think whatever we want about this idea, it's our choice, that's the beauty of free will. If we don't agree with this or it doesn't feel right with us we can choose to believe something totally different, it's our choice. The key is realizing that we all have choices and not judging our choices whatever they may be.
Upon our arrival at birth each of us has been given a wondrous gift. It's called free will and we all have it and we can all use it. Would life be easier without freewill? I don't know, but I do know it would be a lot less interesting. Not only that, if we didn't have choices to make how would we learn our lessons? If we were just handed a script to follow it'd be like being handed a test with all of the answers filled in. What would we learn from that?
Think back over your life, from what situations did you learn your most important lessons? For most of us, if we are honest, it's been through our difficult times. The times we make "bad" choices often are the ones that teach us the most. It seems that sometimes we have the need to experience some really difficult things to really learn a deep lesson. Maybe it's those deep, difficult lessons that indicate we are becoming really advanced as a soul.
Think about this, we usually look at someone who makes what seem like really "bad" choices and think, what are they thinking, how could they be so stupid or irresponsible. But what if these people have decided to learn some really HUGE lessons in a way that they will sink in and have a soul changing, perhaps soul cleansing effect on them. What if in order to really advance our souls and to be able to fully appreciate all aspects of life we would choose to experience some really dark situations. If this were true it would help us to look at others differently and perhaps find more understanding for them. More importantly it could help us to look at ourselves in a different light and not be so hard on ourselves.
What if we were to look at all of our experiences and those of the people around us as choices that we've made in order to learn some lesson. What if we realize that no one is judging us, we are merely being observed as we learn and perhaps even guided with a sense of love. Wouldn't that be interesting? Wouldn't that help us to be able to let go of some of our guilt and our judgments of ourselves and others?
We can think whatever we want about this idea, it's our choice, that's the beauty of free will. If we don't agree with this or it doesn't feel right with us we can choose to believe something totally different, it's our choice. The key is realizing that we all have choices and not judging our choices whatever they may be.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Speaking Vs. Communicating
I am becoming more and more aware that there are many people, even so called advanced souls, who have difficulty listening to others when it comes to working with groups. They have set in their head what their purpose or role is and they cast aside anything anyone presents that doesn't fit into their molded idea of what is meant to be.
Being focused on our intentions is very important, but we must remain opened to listening to what others are telling us. None of us have a 360 degree of all situations or all of the answers. We need others to help us see things from varying angles and to help mirror to us views we may be missing. If we are blinded by only our own guidance or intentions and believe that only WE have all of the answers, then it would seem we are missing the whole concept of Oneness. We aren't great communicators, we are just great speakers.
If someone is constantly speaking over others or casting aside the point of view of others something is off. People who need to preach to us or talk over us are not truly trying to connect with us or communicate with us, they are simply advertising their self and their point of view. Some one who is truly focused and interested in connecting with others will listen intently to others as they speak and will have the desire to explore different points of view, they won't just be excellent at speaking.
The thing is we can't make someone listen to us or see our point of view, we can only offer it and then let it go. Either someone is going to be opened to other point of views and listen or they aren't, it's their choice.
When we feel no one is listening we may feel like we should just stop speaking, but we shouldn't because sometimes others are listening to what we say, they just aren't really hearing it and aren't fully ready to accept what we've said just yet. Eventually what we've said may suddenly sink in or make sense to them or they may share it with someone else and it may make sense to them. Aside from that when we express an idea it puts it out there for the world to find.
The key to expressing ourselves and being heard often lies in finding a way to speak to others using words and styles of speech they will understand. We speak to others at their level. There isn't much point in speaking to others in a manner they can't understand or at a level that goes above their heads or speaks down to them.
If we are truly interested in having others listen to us, we will listen to them and then we will speak to them in a manner they can relate to. They will hear what they are meant to hear when they are ready to hear it. It's as simple as that.
If we feel something needs to be said and we speak to people from our heart, at a level they can relate to, then we can let it go trusting eventually, in some manner, someone will hear what we've expressed and it will have the impact it was meant to have.
The key to true communication is to really listen with interest, speak from our hearts and then let go and trust.
Being focused on our intentions is very important, but we must remain opened to listening to what others are telling us. None of us have a 360 degree of all situations or all of the answers. We need others to help us see things from varying angles and to help mirror to us views we may be missing. If we are blinded by only our own guidance or intentions and believe that only WE have all of the answers, then it would seem we are missing the whole concept of Oneness. We aren't great communicators, we are just great speakers.
If someone is constantly speaking over others or casting aside the point of view of others something is off. People who need to preach to us or talk over us are not truly trying to connect with us or communicate with us, they are simply advertising their self and their point of view. Some one who is truly focused and interested in connecting with others will listen intently to others as they speak and will have the desire to explore different points of view, they won't just be excellent at speaking.
The thing is we can't make someone listen to us or see our point of view, we can only offer it and then let it go. Either someone is going to be opened to other point of views and listen or they aren't, it's their choice.
When we feel no one is listening we may feel like we should just stop speaking, but we shouldn't because sometimes others are listening to what we say, they just aren't really hearing it and aren't fully ready to accept what we've said just yet. Eventually what we've said may suddenly sink in or make sense to them or they may share it with someone else and it may make sense to them. Aside from that when we express an idea it puts it out there for the world to find.
The key to expressing ourselves and being heard often lies in finding a way to speak to others using words and styles of speech they will understand. We speak to others at their level. There isn't much point in speaking to others in a manner they can't understand or at a level that goes above their heads or speaks down to them.
If we are truly interested in having others listen to us, we will listen to them and then we will speak to them in a manner they can relate to. They will hear what they are meant to hear when they are ready to hear it. It's as simple as that.
If we feel something needs to be said and we speak to people from our heart, at a level they can relate to, then we can let it go trusting eventually, in some manner, someone will hear what we've expressed and it will have the impact it was meant to have.
The key to true communication is to really listen with interest, speak from our hearts and then let go and trust.
The Show Must Go On
We often hear that we are the creators of our own world. That if we want to find where all of our problems come from all we have to do is look within ourselves. That our world is full of choices and we are the ones choosing what we experience. Of course there is the opposing view that Fate or God or the Universe is creating everything we experience and we have no control over what we experience in our lives.
If the latter is true then really it seems all we are here to do is ride the experience out the best we can, finding methods of acting out our scenes and coping, learning to find joy in successfully completing each scene. After all, WE have no control, Fate, God or the Universe has set the stage and we are just here to follow the script. We have choices, but our choices are mainly in how we act out the script we've been given, what emotions and acting skill we've learned will be put into a scene and will make it what it is. The play has been written, we know ahead of time what the outcome will be, we are just following the script we've been handed.
If the former is true and we are actually setting the stage, we may be responsible for writing our own script. We may even be writing our script as we go along, making adjustments to scenes and doing many retakes along the way to get just the outcome we'd like to see in our final product. Our emotions are meant to enhance the scene and convey a message, but it is our choice of script that makes the scene what it is meant to be and the emotions we display are just part of that choice. Our play has been written, but we are the writer, so we can choose to make changes and rewrites as WE see fit. We may even choose to completely change the script, altering how entire scenes go or totally rewriting the whole play.
Which one of these scenarios is the truth? I have no idea. Perhaps that is one of our choices. Do we have the free will to choose whether or not we are the writer of the script? And if we do, which one would we choose? If we indeed are in on the creation of all that we see, would we continue to choose the system that we've been using for thousands and thousands of years or would we look for a new way of doing things? If we are only actors in the play and not a part of the creation, then couldn't we just relax and enjoy acting out our scenes until the play has ended?
Either way I often find myself wondering how long this play will continue to run. How many different scenes can possibly need to be acted out before we've experienced all that we need to experience on this stage. Will the curtain finally fall, the actors retire and the play end or will the script be perfected, the worn out actors retired, new actors brought in and the play run continuously? How long must this show go on and who's choice is it really?
If the latter is true then really it seems all we are here to do is ride the experience out the best we can, finding methods of acting out our scenes and coping, learning to find joy in successfully completing each scene. After all, WE have no control, Fate, God or the Universe has set the stage and we are just here to follow the script. We have choices, but our choices are mainly in how we act out the script we've been given, what emotions and acting skill we've learned will be put into a scene and will make it what it is. The play has been written, we know ahead of time what the outcome will be, we are just following the script we've been handed.
If the former is true and we are actually setting the stage, we may be responsible for writing our own script. We may even be writing our script as we go along, making adjustments to scenes and doing many retakes along the way to get just the outcome we'd like to see in our final product. Our emotions are meant to enhance the scene and convey a message, but it is our choice of script that makes the scene what it is meant to be and the emotions we display are just part of that choice. Our play has been written, but we are the writer, so we can choose to make changes and rewrites as WE see fit. We may even choose to completely change the script, altering how entire scenes go or totally rewriting the whole play.
Which one of these scenarios is the truth? I have no idea. Perhaps that is one of our choices. Do we have the free will to choose whether or not we are the writer of the script? And if we do, which one would we choose? If we indeed are in on the creation of all that we see, would we continue to choose the system that we've been using for thousands and thousands of years or would we look for a new way of doing things? If we are only actors in the play and not a part of the creation, then couldn't we just relax and enjoy acting out our scenes until the play has ended?
Either way I often find myself wondering how long this play will continue to run. How many different scenes can possibly need to be acted out before we've experienced all that we need to experience on this stage. Will the curtain finally fall, the actors retire and the play end or will the script be perfected, the worn out actors retired, new actors brought in and the play run continuously? How long must this show go on and who's choice is it really?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Do You See What I See?
Sometimes I find myself completely confused by people and really wonder what exactly they are seeing. Have you ever found yourself listening to what someone says and then later looked at their actions and wondered if you are somehow in the Twilight Zone because what they do goes so against the ideas they express? So many times these people are the first ones to point out how we should behave or who isn't behaving in an appropriate manner and yet they themselves act in a manner that seems completely off balanced. I find myself wondering if they see what they are doing or if they are completely unaware.
I know that I myself often act in a manner that goes against what I know, but normally I catch myself doing it, am aware of it and am working on learning to adjust it. I used to beat myself up when I recognized behavior in myself that goes against what I know, but now I understand it is all part of the learning process and instead of feeling guilty or angry at myself I observe what has happened and look for what lesson there is to learn from my behavior and the situation.
The key seems to be becoming aware of how we are behaving and how our actions are effecting others and our life and deciding whether we want to continue to act in such a manner or want to learn to use a different way of acting. If we can SEE what our actions are CAUSING, we are better able to CHOOSE BEHAVIOR THAT WILL PRODUCE A POSITIVE OUTCOME IN OUR LIVES.
If we are unable to see how our own actions and choices are effecting our lives and the lives of others, then we will just continue on in the same pattern. Which is great if the pattern is working out for us, not so great if we are finding ourself uncomfortable and unhappy all of the time.
It seems we really need to learn to open our eyes and hearts, look deeply and really see who we are and what we are presenting to the world. It's time to SEE that WE HAVE many CHOICES. Maybe it's time we see that no matter what choices we make or have made it's all good, we are just in the process of learning and making choices is part of our overall learning experience. We need to see that all of us are a part of this process and all of us are simply making choices that promote learning and growing and eventually our choices all lead us to home. If we can SEE this we can STOP JUDGING OURSELVES AND OTHERS.
I know that I myself often act in a manner that goes against what I know, but normally I catch myself doing it, am aware of it and am working on learning to adjust it. I used to beat myself up when I recognized behavior in myself that goes against what I know, but now I understand it is all part of the learning process and instead of feeling guilty or angry at myself I observe what has happened and look for what lesson there is to learn from my behavior and the situation.
The key seems to be becoming aware of how we are behaving and how our actions are effecting others and our life and deciding whether we want to continue to act in such a manner or want to learn to use a different way of acting. If we can SEE what our actions are CAUSING, we are better able to CHOOSE BEHAVIOR THAT WILL PRODUCE A POSITIVE OUTCOME IN OUR LIVES.
If we are unable to see how our own actions and choices are effecting our lives and the lives of others, then we will just continue on in the same pattern. Which is great if the pattern is working out for us, not so great if we are finding ourself uncomfortable and unhappy all of the time.
It seems we really need to learn to open our eyes and hearts, look deeply and really see who we are and what we are presenting to the world. It's time to SEE that WE HAVE many CHOICES. Maybe it's time we see that no matter what choices we make or have made it's all good, we are just in the process of learning and making choices is part of our overall learning experience. We need to see that all of us are a part of this process and all of us are simply making choices that promote learning and growing and eventually our choices all lead us to home. If we can SEE this we can STOP JUDGING OURSELVES AND OTHERS.
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