Sometimes we are so busy trying to figure out who we are or trying to be something we are not or trying to fit into someone else's idea of who we are, that we forget a really important point....all we have to be is ourself.
What the heck does that mean? How can we be ourself if we aren't sure who we are? Good question. Let's see if we can find an answer.
Stop right now and take a deep breath, hold it for a second then let it out. Now, take another and while you let this one out become aware of your body and how it feels. Take another deep breath and as you let this one out release all of the tension that you feel. AHHHHHH do you feel loose like jello? If not that's OK. Do you feel tense and worried or relaxed and calm? What ever you feel at this very moment is just fine. Let's just notice how we feel and not place any judgment on ourselves for it.
What you are feeling is NOT who you are, your feelings are only indicating to you that there maybe something you need to focus a little more on. Feelings do not make you who you are, they are simply the tools we've been given to help indicate we need to focus our attention on something, we need to take a deeper look within to see what is causing the feeling.
We could think of our feelings as warning lights, like the check engine oil light in our car. Try looking at it this way, someone just said something to us and suddenly we are angry. Our learned reaction is to become angry at the person and perhaps lash out at them, but if we are thinking of our anger as a warning light we can stop and assess the situation and wonder, what exactly is disturbing us about what this person has said. If we do this we may discover that we aren't angry at this person at all but what they have said has reminded us of an issue that happened at another time. If we use our emotions as indicator lights we may begin to see many situations in our lives in a whole new light.
The key to remember here is that we all have emotions and while they don't make us who we are, they are a part of who we are and it's OK to have them. We need to learn to not let them control us, but rather for us to control them. Could we think of them as a control panel of indicator lights and WE are the ones in charge of controlling the panel? It takes self discipline and hard work to learn this, but with time it will come easily and naturally to us.
Sometimes just admitting how we are feeling can help us to free ourselves from the feeling a bit and in a sense release us from them so that we can have more control over them. Sometimes we are so afraid of our emotions that we try to hide them or clamp down on them and this is not healthy or beneficial to our body. Our emotions must be experienced and released, but we can't allow ourselves to become stuck in them or controlled by them. I hope this is making sense because this is very important.
Our goal is to become aware of our emotions and notice how we are reacting to them and to understand that whatever we are feeling is OK. We are perfect just as we are and no one is judging us other than our self.
Let's try something. Let's make a list of all the words that we think describe us. Don't be afraid and be very honest. Use a pen and paper if you have one.
Now, look at these words, if we were to look in the Creators dictionary under our name is this what our definition would be? NO, these are merely labels that we or someone we know has placed on us throughout our life time. These words, these labels are NOT who we are and they do not define us.
If we were to look in that dictionary under our name we would see one word PERFECT . This is who we all are. Underneath the labels, the emotions, the thoughts and misconceptions, THIS IS WHO WE ARE.
We don't have any expectation we have to live up to or any labels we have to carry forever, we only have to be who we are and that is perfect. Don't get nervous, this doesn't mean we have to strive to be our idea of perfect or work until we become perfect. We are already prefect, we just got confused along the way and forgot who we are.
I know this is difficult to believe with all that we've been taught for thousand of years, but let's keep our hearts and minds open to the possibility that this is a true statement. Let's do our best to hold our hearts open to the possibility that underneath all of our pain and confusion we are perfect. Let's love ourselves exactly as we are at this moment, whether it's grumpy, scared, happy or doubtful.
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