One thing I've learned on this journey is if we really want to heal something and be free of it, we have to take a really good hard look at it. If we stuff the "bad" things that happen to us away instead of facing them and working through them, they live deep inside us festering and popping up when we least expect it.
It's important to look at our issues, the things that bother us in life and our difficult times so that we can work through them, learn any lessons there are to learn from them and then be able to release them so that they don't control us or hold us back in any way.
When we look at these experiences it's important to do it with an opened heart and mind, not looking for someone to blame, but looking to see what part we were playing in the story and what exactly it was that we were trying to accomplish in the scene. It's important to see what role we played and take responsibility for our own actions leaving judgment out of the picture. Instead of looking and thinking...who's to blame for this, it is helpful to look with the thought...what was the purpose of this?
If we desire to heal and move forward, letting go of the past is a very important step we need to take. Our past forms who we are, but only because it teaches us lessons that we use as we move forward in our world. We aren't meant to be stuck in our past or to use it to judge and condemn ourselves or others. If we get stuck in our past and cling to it, there will be no room for growth and progression in our lives. If we let go of our past we don't lose anything, the experiences are still a part of us, we simply no longer use them to define who we are.
Our life is a work of art and we are the artist. The future is ours to paint, but first we must clean our brush of the old paint so that we can fill it with new paint and use it to create a beautiful picture. Let's look at our past with the intention of cleaning our brush so that we can create a bright, beautiful new work of art.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Follow YOUR Path
How do we know when something or someone we come in contact with is off? There will be times when we come across people who seem to have all of the answers and seem to be doing all of the "right" things and we may feel compelled to in a sense follow them or cling to them and their ideas and point of views. What we have to remember is that we always have to use our own discernment with everything we encounter in our world. We have been given a natural intuition, a sort of radar to help us know what rings true for us and what speaks to our soul and will keep us on our own path.
We all have our own path to follow, no one has a specific path that is the only path for us to be on, if someone tells us they have the only way, this might be an indicator that we should pay close attention to what is being said, feel for our self what we agree with and what we don't, listen for what rings true for us and what doesn't. These people may be on the "right" path for them, but that does not mean it is the path for everyone and it does not mean that we we have to follow their exact path.
Another good indicator is the person's actions. Observe closely, listen and see if the persons actions follow their words. Are they speaking of one thing and acting out in another way? Do they speak of love and then display judgment and hate? Do they speak of Oneness and then shut themselves away from others or avoid groups. Do they speak of the light within us all and then act as if only they have the true light? Do they speak of understanding and then act as if they have no understanding of their own beliefs? Do they speak of the power of positive thinking and then act out in negative ways or spread negative ideas?
We must use our own discernment, our observations skills, our ability to look and listen and understand when someone is speaking in one manner and acting in another. We have the ability to open our hearts and minds and see for ourselves what speaks to who we are and what keeps us going in a direction we would like to go. We can't be afraid to trust that and use it to help us along the way.
This doesn't mean we need to fall into judging those we don't agree with or those who seem a little off to us, it simply means that we are aware of our own inner truth and we are going to be brave enough to follow it. This also doesn't mean that the information that these people are sharing is completely off, it may simply mean that they have information that they themselves are not fully ready to accept yet. Remember, we all have our own lessons to learn, we all are on different paths leading to the same place.
The point is that we have to be paying attention, we have to look and listen and follow our own discernment when it comes to taking in information that is presented to us from those outside of us. There are many who serve as great teachers, some will display behaviors that show us how we don't want to be in the world, some will display behaviors that show us how we do want to be in the world, the most effective teachers will show us that our answers are within us and will help us to learn how to look for them and embrace them, they won't be trying to change our ideas or beliefs or mold us into who they want us to be.
We all have our own path to follow, no one has a specific path that is the only path for us to be on, if someone tells us they have the only way, this might be an indicator that we should pay close attention to what is being said, feel for our self what we agree with and what we don't, listen for what rings true for us and what doesn't. These people may be on the "right" path for them, but that does not mean it is the path for everyone and it does not mean that we we have to follow their exact path.
Another good indicator is the person's actions. Observe closely, listen and see if the persons actions follow their words. Are they speaking of one thing and acting out in another way? Do they speak of love and then display judgment and hate? Do they speak of Oneness and then shut themselves away from others or avoid groups. Do they speak of the light within us all and then act as if only they have the true light? Do they speak of understanding and then act as if they have no understanding of their own beliefs? Do they speak of the power of positive thinking and then act out in negative ways or spread negative ideas?
We must use our own discernment, our observations skills, our ability to look and listen and understand when someone is speaking in one manner and acting in another. We have the ability to open our hearts and minds and see for ourselves what speaks to who we are and what keeps us going in a direction we would like to go. We can't be afraid to trust that and use it to help us along the way.
This doesn't mean we need to fall into judging those we don't agree with or those who seem a little off to us, it simply means that we are aware of our own inner truth and we are going to be brave enough to follow it. This also doesn't mean that the information that these people are sharing is completely off, it may simply mean that they have information that they themselves are not fully ready to accept yet. Remember, we all have our own lessons to learn, we all are on different paths leading to the same place.
The point is that we have to be paying attention, we have to look and listen and follow our own discernment when it comes to taking in information that is presented to us from those outside of us. There are many who serve as great teachers, some will display behaviors that show us how we don't want to be in the world, some will display behaviors that show us how we do want to be in the world, the most effective teachers will show us that our answers are within us and will help us to learn how to look for them and embrace them, they won't be trying to change our ideas or beliefs or mold us into who they want us to be.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
"New" Point of View
Sometimes life gets really difficult and it's hard to see any beauty or joy in anything around us. It can seem as if we make it through one difficult situation just to be hit with another and another or sometimes they even pile up all at the same time. It can seem almost as if no matter what we do life just keeps knocking us down. How do we handle such difficult times?
It's easy when we go through times like this to get really down and depressed and to wallow in pity for ourselves and our situation, but what is this going to accomplish? Will we feel better if we continually focus on all that is "wrong" or "bad" in our lives? How will constantly focusing on our struggles, disappointments and frustrations effect our lives? Some say whatever our mind is focused on is what is drawn into our life, so what do you think happens if we constantly focus on what has gone wrong, what is wrong and what could go wrong in our lives?
I understand that a lot of people think positive thinking is just a load of new age babble, but I've personally seen it help turn lives around. Do bad things stop happening and lives become fairy tale like immediately? No, probably not, but the way we deal with the things that happen, the way we react to the people around us and our world changes and it becomes easier to be in the world and WE become easier to be around, which helps those around us feel less stress and in turn creates a happier atmosphere for everybody.
Turning around from being a negative person to being a person with a positive point of view is not always easy, but it can create changes in our world that we never imagined were possible. It might be very difficult at first, but like with all things, the more we practice, the easier it becomes.
First we have to have the desire to be different in the world. We have to decide that we want to try living in a different way. Then we have to set the intention to be different. At night before we go to bed we can think, tomorrow will be a good day, I am going to be positive and happy. In the morning before we get out of bed we can think, today is going to be a good day, I am going to be positive and loving to everyone. It's as easy as that to set our intention. Then we have to put our intention into action by getting our thoughts under control and changing our negative point of view. If a negative thought pops up, we simply allow ourselves to think it and then let it go and look for a positive thought to counter act and replace it. For example: Uggg it's rainy again today, but the rain waters the flowers and helps cleanse the air, at least I have a nice warm dry house to be in. It might take awhile to get used to doing this and we might even find ourselves laughing at the interesting or lame positive point of views we come up with, this is good, laughter is always good!
Most importantly we have to be gentle with ourselves and not get upset if we have difficulty while learning to do this. We need to remember to be positive and loving towards ourselves! If our mind wants to go on a rampage of negative thinking it is very helpful to simply say STOP and refocus our thoughts on something else. Beating ourselves up about it will serve no purpose.
We also need to remember to not get discouraged if we don't see any immediate changes in our world or if the people around us have a strong reaction to the "new" us. It's a good idea to be patient and gentle with everyone, including ourselves, as we practice our positive thinking and way of looking at our world. We have to understand that "bad" things will probably still happen, but we will be able to handle them better and work our way through them with less difficulty. Perhaps as we work our way more gracefully through each situation we will even begin to see that life isn't so bad and eventually life will become not so bad! How wonderful would that be?
It's easy when we go through times like this to get really down and depressed and to wallow in pity for ourselves and our situation, but what is this going to accomplish? Will we feel better if we continually focus on all that is "wrong" or "bad" in our lives? How will constantly focusing on our struggles, disappointments and frustrations effect our lives? Some say whatever our mind is focused on is what is drawn into our life, so what do you think happens if we constantly focus on what has gone wrong, what is wrong and what could go wrong in our lives?
I understand that a lot of people think positive thinking is just a load of new age babble, but I've personally seen it help turn lives around. Do bad things stop happening and lives become fairy tale like immediately? No, probably not, but the way we deal with the things that happen, the way we react to the people around us and our world changes and it becomes easier to be in the world and WE become easier to be around, which helps those around us feel less stress and in turn creates a happier atmosphere for everybody.
Turning around from being a negative person to being a person with a positive point of view is not always easy, but it can create changes in our world that we never imagined were possible. It might be very difficult at first, but like with all things, the more we practice, the easier it becomes.
First we have to have the desire to be different in the world. We have to decide that we want to try living in a different way. Then we have to set the intention to be different. At night before we go to bed we can think, tomorrow will be a good day, I am going to be positive and happy. In the morning before we get out of bed we can think, today is going to be a good day, I am going to be positive and loving to everyone. It's as easy as that to set our intention. Then we have to put our intention into action by getting our thoughts under control and changing our negative point of view. If a negative thought pops up, we simply allow ourselves to think it and then let it go and look for a positive thought to counter act and replace it. For example: Uggg it's rainy again today, but the rain waters the flowers and helps cleanse the air, at least I have a nice warm dry house to be in. It might take awhile to get used to doing this and we might even find ourselves laughing at the interesting or lame positive point of views we come up with, this is good, laughter is always good!
Most importantly we have to be gentle with ourselves and not get upset if we have difficulty while learning to do this. We need to remember to be positive and loving towards ourselves! If our mind wants to go on a rampage of negative thinking it is very helpful to simply say STOP and refocus our thoughts on something else. Beating ourselves up about it will serve no purpose.
We also need to remember to not get discouraged if we don't see any immediate changes in our world or if the people around us have a strong reaction to the "new" us. It's a good idea to be patient and gentle with everyone, including ourselves, as we practice our positive thinking and way of looking at our world. We have to understand that "bad" things will probably still happen, but we will be able to handle them better and work our way through them with less difficulty. Perhaps as we work our way more gracefully through each situation we will even begin to see that life isn't so bad and eventually life will become not so bad! How wonderful would that be?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Change Comes From Within
We can't change anybody but ourselves. We hear this all the time, but what does it really mean? For me it means that we need to stop trying to change everyone around us, we need to stop trying to get everyone to agree with our point of view or even understand our point of view and we need to stop looking outside of ourselves to find answers for our own questions. It's accepting that everyone has their own point of view and their own truth within themselves and no matter what we do, we can not change what they see, understand or know. It' realizing that we are only responsible for ourselves and that no one outside of us is creating what we see around us.
No one outside of us has all of the answers for us, our answers lie within us. It seems if we continue to seek outside of ourselves to discover the answer to all of our questions or the solution to all of our problems we usually only find more questions and more problems. There is nothing outside of us creating anything for us, so it seems to make sense that we should look within ourselves to find the answers and solutions for our questions and problems.
I found all of this really frustrating and hard to believe, but once I began to take the time to look within myself and then trust what I found, I began to see changes in my life, some of them tiny and gradual, some of the life changing and almost over night.
Like everything important, learning to look within ourselves and trust ourselves takes practice. First we have to learn how to quiet ourselves, to look past the voices of our ego and those around us who have told us who we are and what we should be. There are many different methods for quieting ourselves, we can use yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, our process can be as simple as using focusing techniques such as focusing on the flame of a candle for a set period of time or shutting the rest of the world out while listening to relaxing music or as elaborate as lighting candles, putting on music and following a guided meditation, there is no set right or wrong way to do this. The most important part of the process is taking the time to stop and look inside ourselves with the intention of going to the very center of our being and connecting with the very center of our heart, the love center where our true self lives.
We have to go into ourselves with the understanding that within each of us is the spark of divinity, underneath all of our layers of pain and confusion and ugliness is love and light, it's in there just waiting for us to see it. We can quiet the voices of our mind and focus on the understanding that we are loved, we are full of love and we are capable of sending love out to others. Once we understand this and can connect with this, we will begin to trust ourselves and will be able to speak from our heart. When we speak from the deep center of our heart it is easier to relax and know that our words are coming from the truth within us. All of us have love and truth within us, there are no exceptions, we just don't all look and trust what we see or follow what we know. We have free will and we can choose to follow our heart center or not.
Others outside of us are like a mirror showing us either a reflection of how we would like to be or how we would rather not be, but we must look within ourselves to find who we really are and then choose what we want to present to the world. WE have the choice to be who we want to be, no one around us or outside of us can make that choice for us or is responsible for who we are or the words and actions we present to the world. Our choices create who we are, we can see ourselves as ugly and unlovable, miserable and pityful, beautiful and full of love or joyous and peaceful, it's up to us.
We have to be very careful about what energy we allow within ourselves and what energy we put out into the world because whatever we think, feel or do will be reflected in our world around us, whatever we put out there is what comes back to us. If we put our anger and hate, or world will be full of anger and hate, if we are judgmental and unloving, our world will feel condemning and loveless, if we begin to put out positive energy our world will begin to take on a positive form. We have to decide if we want to focus on the positive or the negative, if we want to put out positive or negative energy and thoughts into the world we see around us. We have to take responsibility for our own actions and thoughts and decide what we want our world around us to look like and then focus on the most positive vision of our self and our world as we can.
There will be difficulties in our world and we will come across many people who seem very difficult and unable to look within themselves and take responsibility for their own situations and their own actions, but if we can center ourselves and focus within, we will know how to handle these situations and we will not get sucked into their drama. We will learn to have empathy for people and understand their struggles without being sucked into feeling pity for them or being dragged down to their level of negativity. We will learn to be supportive of them without agreeing with everything they say or do and we will be able to speak to them from our hearts understanding they have the choice to hear what we say and accept it or not. We will be able to let go of the idea of changing anyone else or teaching them to understand what we understand or to make better choices and we will merely offer our support with the understanding that they are on their own journey and we can't do their work for them, it is up to them to do their work for themselves. We will learn to focus on our self and what we want our world to look like and be able to take responsibility for what we are putting out into our world.
If we want to change our world we have to start with ourselves and stop worrying about everyone else. It's as simple as that.
No one outside of us has all of the answers for us, our answers lie within us. It seems if we continue to seek outside of ourselves to discover the answer to all of our questions or the solution to all of our problems we usually only find more questions and more problems. There is nothing outside of us creating anything for us, so it seems to make sense that we should look within ourselves to find the answers and solutions for our questions and problems.
I found all of this really frustrating and hard to believe, but once I began to take the time to look within myself and then trust what I found, I began to see changes in my life, some of them tiny and gradual, some of the life changing and almost over night.
Like everything important, learning to look within ourselves and trust ourselves takes practice. First we have to learn how to quiet ourselves, to look past the voices of our ego and those around us who have told us who we are and what we should be. There are many different methods for quieting ourselves, we can use yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, our process can be as simple as using focusing techniques such as focusing on the flame of a candle for a set period of time or shutting the rest of the world out while listening to relaxing music or as elaborate as lighting candles, putting on music and following a guided meditation, there is no set right or wrong way to do this. The most important part of the process is taking the time to stop and look inside ourselves with the intention of going to the very center of our being and connecting with the very center of our heart, the love center where our true self lives.
We have to go into ourselves with the understanding that within each of us is the spark of divinity, underneath all of our layers of pain and confusion and ugliness is love and light, it's in there just waiting for us to see it. We can quiet the voices of our mind and focus on the understanding that we are loved, we are full of love and we are capable of sending love out to others. Once we understand this and can connect with this, we will begin to trust ourselves and will be able to speak from our heart. When we speak from the deep center of our heart it is easier to relax and know that our words are coming from the truth within us. All of us have love and truth within us, there are no exceptions, we just don't all look and trust what we see or follow what we know. We have free will and we can choose to follow our heart center or not.
Others outside of us are like a mirror showing us either a reflection of how we would like to be or how we would rather not be, but we must look within ourselves to find who we really are and then choose what we want to present to the world. WE have the choice to be who we want to be, no one around us or outside of us can make that choice for us or is responsible for who we are or the words and actions we present to the world. Our choices create who we are, we can see ourselves as ugly and unlovable, miserable and pityful, beautiful and full of love or joyous and peaceful, it's up to us.
We have to be very careful about what energy we allow within ourselves and what energy we put out into the world because whatever we think, feel or do will be reflected in our world around us, whatever we put out there is what comes back to us. If we put our anger and hate, or world will be full of anger and hate, if we are judgmental and unloving, our world will feel condemning and loveless, if we begin to put out positive energy our world will begin to take on a positive form. We have to decide if we want to focus on the positive or the negative, if we want to put out positive or negative energy and thoughts into the world we see around us. We have to take responsibility for our own actions and thoughts and decide what we want our world around us to look like and then focus on the most positive vision of our self and our world as we can.
There will be difficulties in our world and we will come across many people who seem very difficult and unable to look within themselves and take responsibility for their own situations and their own actions, but if we can center ourselves and focus within, we will know how to handle these situations and we will not get sucked into their drama. We will learn to have empathy for people and understand their struggles without being sucked into feeling pity for them or being dragged down to their level of negativity. We will learn to be supportive of them without agreeing with everything they say or do and we will be able to speak to them from our hearts understanding they have the choice to hear what we say and accept it or not. We will be able to let go of the idea of changing anyone else or teaching them to understand what we understand or to make better choices and we will merely offer our support with the understanding that they are on their own journey and we can't do their work for them, it is up to them to do their work for themselves. We will learn to focus on our self and what we want our world to look like and be able to take responsibility for what we are putting out into our world.
If we want to change our world we have to start with ourselves and stop worrying about everyone else. It's as simple as that.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Different Does Not Equal Wrong
I wonder how many people are hiding out from the world because they feel they see things from a different level that no one else understands. I am sure there are many. I've been really surprised to discover many of the people that I thought were quiet and shy or people who I thought had low self esteem were actually reserving their point of view because their point of view seemed so different. Even more shocking was to discover that they felt they shouldn't bother speaking because they were coming from a level others just couldn't possibly understand.
It's interesting to watch as others fill the world in on what they understand that no one else possibly could or listen while they make something clear because they are sure they are seeing it way more clearly. When I come across this is causes me to stop and wonder how often I come across like this. Do I talk down to people? Do I assume that I have a full understanding of what they know and don't know or what they've experienced and understand, when really I don't have a clue? I am sure I do and I have or I wouldn't be able to recognize this behavior in others.
Have I been afraid to speak the truth as I see it because no one will understand or someone will judge me?
Have I assumed that I know more than others or understand things others don't or that I know where someone is coming from when I really have no clue?
Have I taken the actions and words of those around me personally and gotten offended by them?
Have I understood that all I have to do is try my best and that is all everyone else around me needs to do? Can I see that we all do the best we can with what we've been given and what we've learned through out our lives and that is all we can expect from each other?
When I feel someone is talking down to me I don't like the way it feels, so I do my best to not talk down to others, that's all I can do, try my best. I also have learned to do my best not to take everything everyone says or does personally. I've learned to do my best to speak my own truth from my heart and to not make assumptions about the words and actions of others.
People are going to have differing point of views and different levels of understanding. Just because we see things differently does not mean we can't all get along. Different does not mean wrong. What would happen if we could let go of the idea that "our" way is the only way and understand that there are many different ways of seeing things and while we won't always agree, that doesn't mean we have to hate or judge each other, it simply means we see things differently.
What if we were to open up to the point of views of others and to the idea of sharing our own point of views knowing that we may all have different point of views, but that's OK. What if we embrace differences rather than hiding from them or being afraid of them? What if we were to open up to everybody and not just those who see things from our point of view? What if we were to really offer love and support to everyone, not just people we agree with? How different would our world look if we could do this?
It's interesting to watch as others fill the world in on what they understand that no one else possibly could or listen while they make something clear because they are sure they are seeing it way more clearly. When I come across this is causes me to stop and wonder how often I come across like this. Do I talk down to people? Do I assume that I have a full understanding of what they know and don't know or what they've experienced and understand, when really I don't have a clue? I am sure I do and I have or I wouldn't be able to recognize this behavior in others.
Have I been afraid to speak the truth as I see it because no one will understand or someone will judge me?
Have I assumed that I know more than others or understand things others don't or that I know where someone is coming from when I really have no clue?
Have I taken the actions and words of those around me personally and gotten offended by them?
Have I understood that all I have to do is try my best and that is all everyone else around me needs to do? Can I see that we all do the best we can with what we've been given and what we've learned through out our lives and that is all we can expect from each other?
When I feel someone is talking down to me I don't like the way it feels, so I do my best to not talk down to others, that's all I can do, try my best. I also have learned to do my best not to take everything everyone says or does personally. I've learned to do my best to speak my own truth from my heart and to not make assumptions about the words and actions of others.
People are going to have differing point of views and different levels of understanding. Just because we see things differently does not mean we can't all get along. Different does not mean wrong. What would happen if we could let go of the idea that "our" way is the only way and understand that there are many different ways of seeing things and while we won't always agree, that doesn't mean we have to hate or judge each other, it simply means we see things differently.
What if we were to open up to the point of views of others and to the idea of sharing our own point of views knowing that we may all have different point of views, but that's OK. What if we embrace differences rather than hiding from them or being afraid of them? What if we were to open up to everybody and not just those who see things from our point of view? What if we were to really offer love and support to everyone, not just people we agree with? How different would our world look if we could do this?
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