It seems to me until we truly learn to love, accept and forgive ourselves we can not fully love, accept and forgive others. What has been difficult is figuring out exactly what it is that I have felt was so unlovable, what was so unacceptable and needing forgiven in myself? I had to look within myself and see how I really felt about who I am and who I have been and come to an understanding of why I view myself in that way. I had to be willing to look at myself without judgment, I had to be willing to look at everyone in my life without judgment. The key was looking to learn and understand, not to cast blame and point fingers.
As I looked I saw many issues, many misunderstanding and reactions to the things that had happened throughout my life time. I could see choices that were made that caused a lot of problems, but also led to some really important lessons and much growth. I could see chances to love that went by the way side, chances to reach out to others that had been missed and many times when I had reached out and been hurt. I saw many times when people had seen me in a way I was not capable of seeing myself. I saw many times when I had seen people in ways that they were not capable of seeing themselves. I saw how capable we often are of looking at others through the eyes of love and compassion, but are often blind to seeing ourselves with love and compassion.
What I really saw was that underneath the surface all of us all just want to be loved and accepted and want to be capable of loving and accepting others. Whatever we all appear to be on the outside, on the inside we are all the same. We are all little pieces of God wanting to reconnect with the other little pieces of God. I suddenly understood no matter what our physical appearance, social standings or beliefs God loves us all even when we can not love ourselves.
Seeing and accepting that we are all pieces of one big puzzle just trying to fit ourselves back together is what helped my healing process to begin.
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