No Doubt About It

Old habits are hard to break, but if we are persistent we can break them and replace them with new behaviors. At least that is what we are told, but if we are stuck in negativity and fear, we might doubt it and that makes it very difficult to change anything.

Finding a way to stop the endless stream of self talk that tells us we are unworthy, useless, unqualified, stupid, lazy, crazy, unlovable,(the list could be endless) is not always easy. First of all we may be stuck in doubt, which tells us nothing can work, which causes us to not even try, which basically gets us no where which creates a whole bunch of more negative thoughts. OR we may be stuck in fear, which tells us change is bad and no one can be trusted and life is ugly and unfair and horrible and cruel and no one understand us and everyone will judge us so we should hide and be afraid to really live.

It might not be easy, but the first step out of negativity is to want to stop being negative and filled with doubt and fear. We may be so used to being that way we can't even imagine life any other way or we may be afraid of life any other way. But if we take that step and decide to try something different it can lead to a much happier way of living and a more peaceful life.

The trick is to retrain our minds, to catch ourselves when we think negative thoughts and refocus on something else. We can't beat ourselves up about the thoughts, but be aware of them and observe them and then set them aside and replace them with something else. Let go of your fear and doubt and give it a try for a few days.

Instead of focusing on all that is wrong with things in your world or yourself or others, focus on what is right. Whether you believe it or not, there is something right about everything. For instance, that crabby neighbor you have to deal with may be a pain in the butt, but they are teaching you to be patient and kind even when someone is being rude. What a great lesson...thank you crabby neighbor. That husband that threw his dirty socks all over the place was teaching you your house doesn't have to be spotless. What a great lesson...thank you sloppy husband. That broken ankle made you slow down and take the time to really look at your life and yourself for several weeks, it showed you the importance of receiving help from others. What a great lesson...thank you broken ankle.

We have to want to look for the positive, we have to learn to look for the positive, we have to let go of fear and be persistent and not give up. Yes we will stumble, yes we will have days where we feel there is nothing positive about anything. No one expects us to pretend everything is perfect and slap a happy smile on our face all the time, that would just be hiding behind a mask of fake sunshine, but if we never look for the positives, we'll never see them.

Of course, we don't really HAVE to do any of this. We can stay exactly as we are. That is our choice. No doubt about it, we always have choices.