I understand that we all have inner guidance and if we can look within ourselves and listen, we can connect with that guidance and it will help to keep us on the path we need to be on. I also understand how difficult it can be to connect with that guidance and to believe and follow that guidance once we are actually fully aware of it.
Our guidance comes in so many ways, through thoughts that reoccur in our brains, through small quiet voices drawing our attention to something, through pictures that pop into our heads showing us scenes, through people outside of us telling us something we needed to hear, through songs, TV, books and through animals. The variety of ways we receive guidance seem rather endless and sometimes difficult to determine. We tend to not pay attention to most of the messages we receive because they are so subtle or we are too busy to slow down and just look. Sometimes we get hit with the 2x4 guidance such as injuries that slow us down, then we usually start to pay attention. Nothing like a kick in the pants to wake us up when we aren't paying attention to our guidance.
Once we figure out that anything and everything can be a message for us and we start looking for them and paying attention to them we then have to decide if we are going to receive the message or if we are going to let our doubts keep us from accepting that we are indeed receiving guidance that will help us. This is not as easy as it sounds.
We might ask ourself why would someone NOT follow their guidance if they are aware of it? There are a variety of reasons that I can think of one being self doubt. We live in a society that isn't very accepting of intuition or inner guidance. Most of our society is not opened to following their inner guidance and listening to the quiet inner voice within themselves. It may even be considered crazy to admit that you hear your inner voice or that you receive signs through visions or from seeing animals. Many are totally unaware of animal totems and the native beliefs of what certain animals can symbolize for us. Many are afraid to look for signs around them because of religious beliefs. We seem to have lost our connection with nature and with our own self and what we are capable of giving and receiving. In a society such as this is it any wonder that we would be filled with doubts about our own inner guidance?
Along with doubt there is fear. What if what my guidance comes from the Devil? How will I know if my guidance is "good" or "evil"? Won't the Devil be sneaky and come to me in ways that appear safe because he is trying to trick me? How can I possibly trust my own guidance? How can I know what is "right" and what is "wrong" and keep myself safe? Who am I to receive guidance, don't only the holiest ones receive guidance?
Doubts and fear can fill us and keep us from connecting with and accepting our guidance. Doubts and fears cause blocks, they confuse and distract us and can even cause illness in our bodies and minds.
Letting go of doubts and fears is not always easy. We may have been filled with them for so long that being in a doubtful, fearful state feels natural or normal to us. We may even feel uncomfortable when we aren't filled with doubt and fear. We aren't brought into the world full of doubt and fear, that is something that we learn and we can work to unlearn it.
Unlearning this is not an easy process and it takes commitment, dedication and focus. We need to decide that we no longer desire to be filled with doubts and fear, then we need to start reprogramming our minds. When we feel ourselves fill with doubt and fear we can put a stop to it. It's OK and even healthy to let ourselves look at our doubts and fears and see what they are stemming from, but then we have to get them in control by refusing to allow them to swallow us up and consume us. We have the power to stop our thoughts and control them and if we want to get past being filled with doubt and fear, that is what we need to do. We must learn to control our thoughts rather than allowing them to control us.
When a doubt or fear enters our mind we can stop and think, where is this doubt/fear coming from? Is this doubt/fear based on something that is happening right now in the situation I am dealing with right here at this time or is it coming from some past experience? Is this doubt/fear based on something someone outside of me has told me? Is it based on beliefs that have been built on fear and condemnation that I have learned throughout my life time? Is it rational to give into this doubt and fear and let it control me?
After examining where our doubts and fears are coming from, we can set them aside and focus on what we've received as guidance. Without the doubt and fear clouding our thoughts, how does the guidance make us feel? How does it speak to our hearts or touch our souls? Does what we are receiving touch something deep within us? Does it speak to the center of us and feel "right"? Does it cause us to feel the need to look deeper and really connect with what is going on?
We shouldn't allow ourselves to stop and think what those outside of ourselves would think about it, but look deep within ourselves and see what we think and feel about it, that is what is really important. When we connect with what feels right deeply within us we will be better equipped to deal with our outside world, to see where our guidance lies and discern what feels "right" and what feels "wrong" for us as we work our way through this world. If the voices we are hearing are filled with fear and doubt, they are not the voices of our inner guidance, they are voices of the world outside of us. Our true inner guidance will not use doubt and fear to lead us, it will use love and understanding with firmness.
I'm not saying this will be easy, overcoming doubt and fear has been a huge challenge for me, one I work through on a daily basis. Doubt and fear seem to have been deeply ingrained in us and our society, it's no surprise that it will take awhile for us all to be able to overcome them and let them go. With persistence, commitment and the intention to move beyond doubt and fear I don't doubt we can do it!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Being Prepared
It was interesting to watch as my daughter prepared for the birth of her first child. I observed with interest her anxiety over having everything just right and having all of the perfect things that she needed. I told her often that she really didn't need much to take care of a new born and that she should relax a little, but she wanted to be prepared, she wanted everything set in place just right.
Interestingly enough, once the baby was born suddenly all of that stuff that was so necessary to her peace of mind during pregnancy, no longer seemed important. It didn't matter what crib or dresser she had, she just needed a safe, convenient space for the baby to sleep and easy access to the diapers and clothing. All of the beautiful little outfits sat in the drawers unused for days because it was easier to keep the baby in just a tshirt until her umbilical cord came off.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having to have things prepared or having beautiful items ready to be used. It just was eye opening to witness someone realize how little importance having those "perfect" things was once they held that beautiful, perfect child in their arms.
Thinking over all of this caused me to wonder how many times in our lives we have missed out on opportunities for growth or happiness simply because we are so busy lining things up perfectly. How often have we missed out on what we were meant to be doing or finding joy in what we were meant to be doing because we were putting so much time and anxiety into focusing on getting things lined up or in order "perfectly" instead of finding joy in the process and just doing what needed to be done. Granted having things in order and lined up can make things easier, but are we going over board in our preparing? Are we stuck in rituals of getting things just right?
As a recovering perfectionist myself, I am working on learning to find balance between having to have things just right and not trying to get things just right at all. It feels as if it's important to prepare and be ready, but not to lose sight in all of our preparation of what it is we are preparing for and what it is that we truly need to focus on.
Interestingly enough, once the baby was born suddenly all of that stuff that was so necessary to her peace of mind during pregnancy, no longer seemed important. It didn't matter what crib or dresser she had, she just needed a safe, convenient space for the baby to sleep and easy access to the diapers and clothing. All of the beautiful little outfits sat in the drawers unused for days because it was easier to keep the baby in just a tshirt until her umbilical cord came off.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having to have things prepared or having beautiful items ready to be used. It just was eye opening to witness someone realize how little importance having those "perfect" things was once they held that beautiful, perfect child in their arms.
Thinking over all of this caused me to wonder how many times in our lives we have missed out on opportunities for growth or happiness simply because we are so busy lining things up perfectly. How often have we missed out on what we were meant to be doing or finding joy in what we were meant to be doing because we were putting so much time and anxiety into focusing on getting things lined up or in order "perfectly" instead of finding joy in the process and just doing what needed to be done. Granted having things in order and lined up can make things easier, but are we going over board in our preparing? Are we stuck in rituals of getting things just right?
As a recovering perfectionist myself, I am working on learning to find balance between having to have things just right and not trying to get things just right at all. It feels as if it's important to prepare and be ready, but not to lose sight in all of our preparation of what it is we are preparing for and what it is that we truly need to focus on.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Focus On Yourself
Being the over achiever that I am I tend to find myself dealing with more than one difficult life situation at a time. This used to really frustrate me and I used to wonder why I couldn't just have one difficult thing to deal with at a time instead of multiple challenges. What I began to notice was that if I looked closely I would see that my challenges were somehow connected in some manner, that there was a thread that ran through the situation that seemed to hold them together. It was as if I were weaving a quilt or tapestry of learning situations through my life experiences. Facing one experience helped me learn and heal the other situations, they were all related in some way. It's sort of "killing two birds with one stone."
When I began to look at each and every life situation as a learning experience, I began to understand that each situation served a purpose, each challenge was an opportunity to learn and grow and expand who I am. I had to learn to stop feeling sorry for myself or wondering why me and start asking questions like why now and what is my responsibility in this situation. I had to let go of looking for someone to blame for the situations and focus on what I could do to move forward.
It soon became clear to me the way to move forward was to look at the role that I was playing in every situation. The next step was to ask myself, "What is it that I can change?" I had to stop focusing on what I wanted to see changed and how I wanted others to change and focus only on what I could do. I had to take responsibility for myself and my own actions and stop trying to force others into taking responsibility for their choices and actions.
As a healer filled with deep love and compassion for the world I often find myself wanting to take on the pains of those around me and trying to do their work for them. The truth is no matter how much we want to, how hugely we open our heart to hold the pain of others, or how intent we are on healing everyone around us, we are only responsible for ourselves. Everyone has to do their own work and take responsibility for their own actions and choices, we can not do it for them. Some will choose to do their work and make changes and some will not.
Sometimes as givers and healers we tend to give too much of ourselves and not receive much back. This can deplete us and in the end serves no one. We have to take care of ourselves. In taking care of ourselves, we are helping and serving others. Receiving love and care is as important as giving.
I sometimes have a difficult time knowing when to step away from situations that deplete me, when to stop giving. I literally want to save everyone in the world and will try my best to do that, but in doing so often sacrifice myself.
I was recently told that it's time to learn to extract myself from situations and people who no longer meet my own needs; that there are toxic situations and people that I should avoid. This was difficult for me to hear. It took awhile for the idea to sink in for me. It seemed narcissistic to walk away from others because they didn't meet my needs. The understanding that there are people out there who will refuse to change, who will never change, who will use me and suck all of the energy out of me and that it is OK for me to give what I can to them and then walk away seemed foreign to me. Don't I have to give it my all? Don't I have to love everybody unconditionally always? It was pointed out to me that these people tax my energy so much that choosing to be with them keeps me from being who I am and keeps me from serving others. Choosing to continue being with them keeps me from fully serving my purpose.
It's easy to confuse helping people to heal with rescuing them. It's important to remember that healers are here to guide and assist, not do the work for people and rescue them, as I stated before we all have to do our own work. We are here to help and support each other, but no one can do the work for another and trying to hold the whole world and do everyone's work for them keeps us from doing what we are meant to do and that is focusing on healing ourselves from within.
If we want to heal the world we will start by focusing on ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves in every single situation we find ourselves in every single day. We will see what role we are playing, take responsibility for our own choices, take whatever actions we feel are necessary to heal and forgive the situation, we will offer others involved in the situation assistance by relating to them with hope and compassion understanding that we can not change them and we will let go of the end results. We can't control how others will react or act in a situation, all we can do is take responsibility for ourselves and stick as best we can to our own intentions and follow what our soul tells us to do. If we do this, no matter what the outcome or end result, we will be able to believe in ourselves and walk boldly with our head held high in confidence that we are serving our purpose.
When I began to look at each and every life situation as a learning experience, I began to understand that each situation served a purpose, each challenge was an opportunity to learn and grow and expand who I am. I had to learn to stop feeling sorry for myself or wondering why me and start asking questions like why now and what is my responsibility in this situation. I had to let go of looking for someone to blame for the situations and focus on what I could do to move forward.
It soon became clear to me the way to move forward was to look at the role that I was playing in every situation. The next step was to ask myself, "What is it that I can change?" I had to stop focusing on what I wanted to see changed and how I wanted others to change and focus only on what I could do. I had to take responsibility for myself and my own actions and stop trying to force others into taking responsibility for their choices and actions.
As a healer filled with deep love and compassion for the world I often find myself wanting to take on the pains of those around me and trying to do their work for them. The truth is no matter how much we want to, how hugely we open our heart to hold the pain of others, or how intent we are on healing everyone around us, we are only responsible for ourselves. Everyone has to do their own work and take responsibility for their own actions and choices, we can not do it for them. Some will choose to do their work and make changes and some will not.
Sometimes as givers and healers we tend to give too much of ourselves and not receive much back. This can deplete us and in the end serves no one. We have to take care of ourselves. In taking care of ourselves, we are helping and serving others. Receiving love and care is as important as giving.
I sometimes have a difficult time knowing when to step away from situations that deplete me, when to stop giving. I literally want to save everyone in the world and will try my best to do that, but in doing so often sacrifice myself.
I was recently told that it's time to learn to extract myself from situations and people who no longer meet my own needs; that there are toxic situations and people that I should avoid. This was difficult for me to hear. It took awhile for the idea to sink in for me. It seemed narcissistic to walk away from others because they didn't meet my needs. The understanding that there are people out there who will refuse to change, who will never change, who will use me and suck all of the energy out of me and that it is OK for me to give what I can to them and then walk away seemed foreign to me. Don't I have to give it my all? Don't I have to love everybody unconditionally always? It was pointed out to me that these people tax my energy so much that choosing to be with them keeps me from being who I am and keeps me from serving others. Choosing to continue being with them keeps me from fully serving my purpose.
It's easy to confuse helping people to heal with rescuing them. It's important to remember that healers are here to guide and assist, not do the work for people and rescue them, as I stated before we all have to do our own work. We are here to help and support each other, but no one can do the work for another and trying to hold the whole world and do everyone's work for them keeps us from doing what we are meant to do and that is focusing on healing ourselves from within.
If we want to heal the world we will start by focusing on ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves in every single situation we find ourselves in every single day. We will see what role we are playing, take responsibility for our own choices, take whatever actions we feel are necessary to heal and forgive the situation, we will offer others involved in the situation assistance by relating to them with hope and compassion understanding that we can not change them and we will let go of the end results. We can't control how others will react or act in a situation, all we can do is take responsibility for ourselves and stick as best we can to our own intentions and follow what our soul tells us to do. If we do this, no matter what the outcome or end result, we will be able to believe in ourselves and walk boldly with our head held high in confidence that we are serving our purpose.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Pure love
AHHHHH the JOYS of babies! There's nothing like holding a baby in your arms. The smell of them, the sweet softness of their fluffy hair and perfect skin. I love every part of them, their pudgy fingers and toes. The shape of their furry little shoulders, tiny ears, eyes that squench shut and pop open so widely as if they can't believe they are really out in the world. The sounds they make, the tiny grunts and squeaks, the pop of a binky being pulled from their lips and the hungry suckling noises are like music to my ears. I'm amazed by their tiny legs that stretch out as if to say, WOW I can really move around now and then just as quickly pull back in as if to say, WOW it's a big old world out here! Those tiny toes just waiting to be tickled and have you say This little piggy went to market on them. And of course their round little tummies and chubby little cheeks that make it so hard to resist blowing kisses all over them. I love the curve of their little bottom that fits so perfectly in your hand and they way they curl up into a tiny bundle as you hold them closely on your chest.
I think new borns are the closest to Heaven we get right now here on earth.
If I had to pick out one favorite thing about my grand daughter right now it would be the way she looks straight into my eyes and appears to try to communicate with me. How she listen so intently to what I tell her and then tries to smile. She just melts my heart, but then all babies melt my heart. I'd say she's the prettiest baby ever, but how could this be when MY babies were the prettiest babies ever?
If you have children don't you wish you could shrink your kids down for just one day and love them up like you did when they were new borns only have them be able to remember THAT feeling, that emotion of pure, unconditional love that surrounded them. Infancy is usually the only time we receive that kind of pure nonjudgmental love. Isn't that sad? Wouldn't it be amazing if our children could remember that and hold on to it always no matter what is going on in their lives. Don't you wish YOU could feel that feeling towards yourself? Wouldn't it be amazing if we all could remember being totally, purely and unconditionally loved just as we are?
It feels to me that each day we are born a new and have the opportunity to reach out to each other and ourselves with that feeling of unconditional love, that feeling of wonder and joy and hope. If only we could let go of all of our expectations and learned perceptions of how the world is "supposed" to be. If only we could stop judging and instead just love with an opened heart. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Wouldn't that be Heaven?
I think new borns are the closest to Heaven we get right now here on earth.
If I had to pick out one favorite thing about my grand daughter right now it would be the way she looks straight into my eyes and appears to try to communicate with me. How she listen so intently to what I tell her and then tries to smile. She just melts my heart, but then all babies melt my heart. I'd say she's the prettiest baby ever, but how could this be when MY babies were the prettiest babies ever?
If you have children don't you wish you could shrink your kids down for just one day and love them up like you did when they were new borns only have them be able to remember THAT feeling, that emotion of pure, unconditional love that surrounded them. Infancy is usually the only time we receive that kind of pure nonjudgmental love. Isn't that sad? Wouldn't it be amazing if our children could remember that and hold on to it always no matter what is going on in their lives. Don't you wish YOU could feel that feeling towards yourself? Wouldn't it be amazing if we all could remember being totally, purely and unconditionally loved just as we are?
It feels to me that each day we are born a new and have the opportunity to reach out to each other and ourselves with that feeling of unconditional love, that feeling of wonder and joy and hope. If only we could let go of all of our expectations and learned perceptions of how the world is "supposed" to be. If only we could stop judging and instead just love with an opened heart. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Wouldn't that be Heaven?
Birth Day
Witnessing a birth and holding a newborn baby in your arms is a sure way to get you to thinking about birth and life and the whole process we all go through. We all enter the world through our mother. One minute we are comfortable and warm floating inside our mother who has sustained us for 9 months or so and the next we are feeling the strong contractions, the squeezing a pushing, a need to move that forces us out into the world, into our new life. What an amazing, breathtaking experience!
I wonder if we know for sure before hand, while we are still in our prebirth state, what we will encounter when we arrive here on this planet. I imagine us choosing our parents and the experiences we'd like to share with much excitement and thought, determined to come into the world and accomplish great things for ourselves and others. I'm envisioning us full of hope and joy at the idea of all of the experiences we will have and the lessons we will learn. I wonder if we stop and think of the work and pain involved in birth and life. Perhaps we know full well of all the pain and hard work we will encounter and we choose to come anyway. Perhaps we're oblivious to the idea of pain and hard work and just want to experience living. Perhaps it's a mixture of both or something we can't even comprehend in our current state of mind.
What I'm noticing lately in my life is that I seem to be going through a new birth...the birth of my self. I've watched over the past few years how I've grown and seen how I've been nurtured and sustained by many various "mother" figures on my path. The mothering has come in many forms, through friends, coworkers, bosses, family, sometimes even strangers who just happen to enter my life in times of need with just the right thing to say at just the right moment. Under the tender care of these assorted "mothers" I've felt a "new" me grow and form and become ready to reach out and enter the world again.
There have been pains, dark times, anticipation and anxiety of leaving the space were I have become comfortable and yet it feels more and more like it's time to move forward, to come out of that safe, familiar space and be born into who I was meant to be. I wonder will this be a "new" me or will it be me finding my "old" self, the me I was meant to be, who got lost along the way.
It seems instead of having one grand "birth" day entrance this birth will be more of an easing out bit by bit, day by day, week by week, month by month until eventually I'm fully aware of who I am and what I'm meant to be. It will take time and patience and some labor and some pain, maybe even some sweat and tears, but in the end there will be joy and it will all be well worth it.
I wonder if we know for sure before hand, while we are still in our prebirth state, what we will encounter when we arrive here on this planet. I imagine us choosing our parents and the experiences we'd like to share with much excitement and thought, determined to come into the world and accomplish great things for ourselves and others. I'm envisioning us full of hope and joy at the idea of all of the experiences we will have and the lessons we will learn. I wonder if we stop and think of the work and pain involved in birth and life. Perhaps we know full well of all the pain and hard work we will encounter and we choose to come anyway. Perhaps we're oblivious to the idea of pain and hard work and just want to experience living. Perhaps it's a mixture of both or something we can't even comprehend in our current state of mind.
What I'm noticing lately in my life is that I seem to be going through a new birth...the birth of my self. I've watched over the past few years how I've grown and seen how I've been nurtured and sustained by many various "mother" figures on my path. The mothering has come in many forms, through friends, coworkers, bosses, family, sometimes even strangers who just happen to enter my life in times of need with just the right thing to say at just the right moment. Under the tender care of these assorted "mothers" I've felt a "new" me grow and form and become ready to reach out and enter the world again.
There have been pains, dark times, anticipation and anxiety of leaving the space were I have become comfortable and yet it feels more and more like it's time to move forward, to come out of that safe, familiar space and be born into who I was meant to be. I wonder will this be a "new" me or will it be me finding my "old" self, the me I was meant to be, who got lost along the way.
It seems instead of having one grand "birth" day entrance this birth will be more of an easing out bit by bit, day by day, week by week, month by month until eventually I'm fully aware of who I am and what I'm meant to be. It will take time and patience and some labor and some pain, maybe even some sweat and tears, but in the end there will be joy and it will all be well worth it.
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