I think I am finally learning to let go of guilt and feeling like I somehow have to make everyone around me happy and that it's OK to be happy when others are not.
It's taken a long time for me to see that there really is no way to make others happy. Yes, you can treat them with respect and really listen to them and do things for them, but deep down if someone is not happy, there is not a thing you can really do that will make them happy. You can stand beside them and let them know you are there and you love them no matter how they feel, but sadly, no one can really make someone else happy or make them feel lovable if they do not feel that way.
It's been difficult for me to understand that I don't have to feel sad and depressed even when things are not going well around me, even when the world seems like such an ugly place. I am beginning to learn that I can empathize with those around me without feeling I have to carry their pain so heavily on my own shoulders. Their pain is theirs to deal with, not mine. I can offer lover support and understanding, but I cannot carry their load fully for them. Also,there is nothing wrong with staying positive when things are not going well and I don't have to feel like it's the end of the world every time something bad happens to anyone anywhere in the world. The world is not perfect, terrible things are going to happen, tragedies befall us all, we have to learn how to deal with them and carry on with our lives the best we can.
It's also taken a long time to see that I don't have to feel guilty for how I see the world or for how I live my life. I really don't have to answer to others for my choices. While I am responsible to others for how I treat them, no one has walked in my shoes or completely seen my view point, where I've been, what I've seen or what I've experienced. Just as I don't know exactly what anyone else has fully experienced, no one knows 100% what I've experienced. I have to be true to myself and to what my heart tells me is right. I have to follow my own path with the intention of not intentionally causing harm to another and if someone else wants to judge me for my choices, it is their right and their issue to deal with, not mine. I have to focus on what my own intentions are and not worry so much about what others are up to.
I've spent a life time of doing what everyone else told me was right and listening to hours of how things should be from someone else's perspective. I've heard how I've failed or done things in ways others wouldn't. I've wasted years believing what others have told me about who I am or who I should be instead of seeing what really lies within me and honoring that.
We all know their are so many in the world who are so willing and eager to tell us who we are or who we should be and how we have to act and why we have to act that way. I understand they do this out of concern and with a feeling that they are only helping us, but most of the time they don't listen to their own advice or have a clue how to really be in the world themselves.
If we all would spend more time examining our own intentions, looking more deeply at ourselves and how our world is going around us and spent less time trying to teach everyone else about how they should be and what they should do or what they should believe, perhaps the world be a better place
