Ground Control to Major Tom

Some times I feel like Major Tom the astronaut lost in space. "Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do".   Other times I feel more like an alien living on some strange planet where everything is foreign to me.

Much of what I see going on on this planet really makes no sense to me.

People say they love life so much they hate war.
People love animals so much they hate factory farms.
People love their kids so much they yank them out of school systems they hate.
People throw out the phrase What Would Jesus Do and then use the Bible to judge and hate others.

Does any of this make good sense?  Can we truly love if we are so willing to hate?

How about instead of wasting energy hating anything we use that energy to find practical solutions to address the issues we are upset with.  What if we take our hate and anger and transform them into love and concern and use them as tools to really make a difference?

If we hate war perhaps we should stop hating and judging others.  We could view the whole world as one group connected to the planet instead of a bunch of individuals just sharing the same space.  Without hate the need for war will end and our planet will heal.

If  we love animals we could stop wasting food and reduce the worlds "need" for meat by adding healthy alternatives to our diets.  With out the huge demand for meat factory farms will become less feasible and they will end.  We have an abundance of food in our world, we just aren't making proper use of it.

If we love our kids instead of hating the school systems we should work to improve them so that ALL children get a proper education where they are taught to become productive, successful individuals instead of just being molded into a system that clearly does not work for everyone.  Improve our schools and we will change our world.  The children are our future!

What if we were to really do what Jesus would do and love our neighbors as ourselves, ALL of our neighbors, not just the ones who share our beliefs or look like us or speak like us or think like us.

I really must be from another planet!  These ideas are really outrageous and far out there, aren't they?  Some people may actually choose to hate me for making such simple suggestions.

If we truly want to change our world we have to let go of the idea that it is ever OK to hate anything.

Hate is the single most negative energy producing force and it is killing our planet!
Let go of our need to hate and we will change our world.

This is Major Tom signing off.

Under Pressure

Sometimes the pressures all around us just really are too much and we become overloaded and overwhelmed.  We need to learn to recognize when we are hitting our limit and take action to keep from overloading. 

What can we do?  The very fist thing we do is simply stop.  Stop whatever we are doing and take a really deep breath.  Now think...what can I do to help me feel better?  Is there someone who we can talk to who will listen and understand and not judge us?  If we have someone like this that is great, we all NEED someone like this in our lives.  We can reach out to this person and let them help share our load.

If we don't have anyone or we can't get in touch with anyone or we really don't feel like talking, we can take out a pen and paper and write it all out.  Don't hold back, write whatever we are feeling, seeing, hearing, anything that is effecting us in a negative manner, write it all out.  Once we have it all out then we can decide whether we want to keep it for future reference or destroy it.  Sometimes we feel the need to keep it and take it out and look at it again to see what there is to learn from it and other times we may feel the need to destroy it and in a sense release ourselves from it all.  We will know it feels we need to do with what we've written.

They key is to not hold all of this in or think that we have to tough it out alone.  We want to release some of our inner pressure and get our negative thoughts out so that we don't burst.  Once we have them out we may be able to see thing more clearly and be able to recenter ourselves.

We do need to be very careful though that we aren't constantly using others as a dumping ground for only our negative thoughts,  this is not what our friends and supporters are for and it would not be beneficial for them.  We might want to consider writing our feelings out before reaching out to a friend just to see what is left that needs to be cleared.

It might be very beneficial for us to unplug for a little while.  Take some quiet time alone to reconnect with ourselves and get away from all of the outside stimulus we deal with on a day to day basis. Take a little time to focus only on our own needs.  Find someway to spend some time alone. 

This might sound funny, but when my kids were little I used to mow the lawn to get my quiet time.  They knew they couldn't come near the riding mower and I had nothing to do while mowing but enjoy my quiet time and do some inner reflecting. I always felt recharged after mowing the lawn. Do whatever works for you, take a little drive, go for a walk, hide in the shower or soak in the tub,  clear out a little spot in your garage or basement where you can go just to tinker on something.  Anything that gives you a little bit of peace and quiet time.

We sometimes feel ourselves under a lot of pressure and we need to learn to keep ourselves from exploding.  We won't be any good to anyone if we don't take care of ourselves first.

On The Offensive

I'm just going to say it, being offended is a choice.  That's right, we can choose to be offended or not to be offended by the actions of others.  No one forces us to be offended, WE choose to be offended.  Does the very idea of that statement offend us?

If someone does something "stupid" or hurtful towards us or someone we love or anyone for that matter shouldn't we have the right to be offended.  Why wouldn't we CHOOSE to be offended?

Good question.  Let's think about this, what purpose does being offended serve?  Is being offended going to be a good use of our energy?  What kind of energy is produced by our body when we become offended, is it positive or negative?  Is there some better choice we can make besides choosing to be offended?

It seems being offended serves no purpose other than to point out to us that there is an issue we need to deeply look at.  Our  indicator light is going off and if we give in to our feelings and choose to be offended, that leads to anger, which is only negative.  Instead of choosing to offended perhaps it would be more beneficial to choose to take a deeper look into our selves and find out what seems so offensive to us.

OK if we are going to let go of our right to feel offended how can we do that?

First stop making assumptions.  We all spend so much time assuming we know exactly why someone has done something and most of the time we have no clue what we are talking about. We can come up with all kinds of little scenarios in our mind for why people are doing what they are doing and literally make ourselves crazy if we are not careful and don't control our minds.  Unless we are living in someone elses skin we truly have no way of really knowing or understanding the intentions behind their actions.  Basing our ideas, opinions and actions on assumptions is dangerous.  Why would we continue to choose to do it?

Second keep in mind our opinions are not FACTS.

Let's look at the definition of the word opinion:
A personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty.
A message expressing a belief about something; the expression of a belief that is held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof.
A vague idea in which some confidence is place.


We may feel entitled to our opinions and we may think we have a great basis for forming our opinions, but using our opinions to try to "teach" others or forcing our opinions on others truly serves no purpose. My husband likes to say opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and they all stink.  Kind of crude and funny, but really very insightful when you think about it.  The most useful thing we can do with our opinions is keep them to ourselves, but that's just my opinion.

How about the next time someone does something that normally we would take offense to we simply stop, look at what we feel is offensive about what they have said or done and instead of choosing to be offended and going on the defensive we simply look within ourselves to see what we can learn from the situation.

What if we could look at the offensive person or act as merely a vehicle for delivering some message we needed to receive and instead of being angry and resentful we actually feel a bit of gratitude for being given the opportunity to learn something.  What a different way to look at the offensive situations and people in our lives!

It won't be easy and it will take practice, but are we willing to let go of our right to be offended and look for a new way to view the "offensive" situations and people in our lives?

Great Expectations

I had something to say today and then before I could write it out I lost it.  The thought was completely gone.  I tried to get it back, but it's floating around somewhere perhaps waiting to come back into my brain or maybe waiting to float into somebody else's head.  Perhaps someone else is already sharing the thought in some manner as I write this.

Sometimes we get a little frustrated with ourselves. (Like me right now because I had something awesome to say and I lost it) A lot of times we put a lot of expectations on ourselves and on those around us.  We feel we have this image to live up to or this one specific role to fill.  We become worried we will let someone down and not be all that we can be.  I'll admit one of my fears in doing this blog is someone will take what I say wrong or people will start expecting something from me that I can't provide.   Is it any wonder with the pressure of expectations on us we get so stressed out and depressed?

What if we were to realize that the only thing we have to be is our self?  What if we were to let go of all those high expectations and realize that all we have to do in every situation is try our best and be who we are.  All we have to do is follow our heart and act from a place of love and we will have nothing to worry about.  What if we remember we are already perfect and are just here trying to remember that?

If we are always acting out of a place of love, from deep with in our heart we will know that we are in no way intentionally hurting anyone and we can rest easy.

Many people confuse acting from their heart with acting from their emotions, this is not the same thing.  If you are in the place of your heart you will be calm and peaceful, not overly full of emotion and ready to burst.

If we are constantly questioning our choices and always finding ourselves defending our choices and offending others, then perhaps we should make sure we are really connecting with our heart and not just listening to our mind or reacting to our emotions.

That's not to say there won't be people who will make the choice to be offended by us.  Being offended is a choice people make and some people choose to offended no matter how you try to speak to them.  But, if we are presenting ourselves in a honest, loving, kind manner coming straight from our heart, most people will not be offended by our words even if we say things that they don't fully agree with or are very difficult to accept.

If we set expectations aside and simply do our best to always come from a place of love, the rest will take care of it's self, we should have no worries.

All we have to do is be our self and come from a place of love.  We can do that, can't we?

It's Seriously Time To Lighten Up

We sometimes take ourselves SO seriously.  Our life can become so heavy and feel full of darkness because we take ourselves and our life so seriously that we've totally forgotten how to relax and have fun.  When was the last time we actually played?  Think about this, when was the last time that you really let loose and just enjoyed yourself?  One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is permission to play.

Just because we grow up, that doesn't mean we can no longer enjoy life or have fun.  Sometimes I look around the world and think our society is trying to suck the joy out of everything.  How sad and how destructive to all of us, especially our children...but that's another post, right now we are focused on us older ones.

I have a very close friend who is an expert at play.  When we get together we giggle like two school girls.  It really doesn't matter to us where we are or what we do, we seem to be able to make any situation fun.  Our very first meeting was spent shopping for furniture and we both reveled in petting all the soft furniture, sitting on all of the chairs and sofas and imagining what we would do if we actually owned the furniture.  We had more fun than if' we'd visited an amusement park and all we were doing was looking at furniture!  Every time we are together we find joy no matter what is going on in our lives.

Life can be very serious and it's OK to take it seriously, but we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously that we forget who we are and that we are entitled to joy and happiness.

The key here is finding joy in simple things, looking for the positive in any situation and allowing ourselves to let go and have some fun.  We don't have to spend a lot of money or even go out to play, we can play where ever we are.  We just need to use our imagination and be opened to whatever comes our way.  It also helps to find someone who likes to do things with us, sharing the joy seems to increase our joy.

Be spontaneous, dance in the isle at the store, throw off your shoes and walk in the grass,  sing a long with the radio.  LIGHTEN UP!  We don't have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, there are plenty of us to share the load!

Don't go out there and do anything dangerous or something that would hurt someone else, but please try to find some way to play at least once a day.  Dance around your kitchen, crank up the radio and sing at the top of your lungs while driving,  steal your kids playdough and make a dinosaur,  fill up a tub with bubbles and put on your favorite song, get some flowers and arrange them, whatever sounds like fun!

Let's give ourselves permission to lay down our load and have some fun.  I know we all can do this!

The Center of Things

What exactly do we mean when we say "center our self"?  Centering our self does not mean we become self centered.  Centering our self is becoming quiet and looking within to see what truly lies within us.  It's quieting our mind, letting go of our need to analyze, solve or shape anything and just seeing what's at the very center of our being.

In finding our center we usually find that we are here not to serve ourselves, but to serve others.  We are able to let go of our need to be waited on and have our world shaped around our own needs and we become able to look at the whole world and see how we can best serve the needs of the whole world, not just ourselves.

We still see ourselves, our beautiful individual selves, but we begin to understand that we are but a piece of a puzzle which when placed with other pieces forms a big picture.  We can recognize our own unique shape and yet understand that we need to be connected with others to make the puzzle complete.  Instead of avoiding being connected with others we begin to look forward to it with great joy.

If we chose to remain self centered we often find ourselves feeling alone and unloved and frustrated.  When we let go of our self centeredness and reach out to serve others for the sake of helping them and not to gain something for ourselves, we will begin to see great changes in our world around us.

This doesn't mean we become a door mat and allow others to wipe their feet on us.  It means we stand in our own power and chose to love others no matter what and if they don't want to receive our love and continue to try to walk on us, then we can love them from a distance.  We don't have to lay still and take someone else's dirt. When we realize that we can gently stand in our own power without stomping on someone else, we can decide whether or not it's time to let someone stop cleaning their boots on us as well as whether or not we want to be cleaning our boots on others.

Real power does not come from controlling others, it comes from showing grace and peace.

Let's take some time today to quiet ourselves and look within us.  Go to that soft center of our self where our soul resides and just rest there for a few minutes in the love and beauty of who we are.  We are beautiful, perfect, powerful beings that are loved beyond imagination.  Tap into that and use it through out the day.

Love Can Build A Bridge

I noticed as a child that I often attracted many of the grumpiest teachers in my school settings.  I was somehow able to connect with them and they would take me under their wings.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that it was because I saw underneath their gruff, scary exterior and was able to show interest and love towards them instead of being afraid of them or angry towards them.  This is why they were drawn to me.  Unfortunately there were also many teachers who a little afraid of me and all of my questions and I was too young to understand they were frustrated by my big questions and different way of looking at things, they didn't treat me so well and so I was angry towards them.  My experiences with those teachers did not have positive outcomes, but I learned many lessons from them.

Sometimes through out our lives we come across people who are really, really hard to deal with.  We all have someone in our life who just comes across as snarly and unlovable and it's easy for us to project that back to them or to just avoid them.

What we can do instead of sending negativity at them is to let the negativity go and just send them love.  I don't mean we have to go to them and hug them or shower them with praises.  We can simply, let go of our own negative thoughts toward them and send loving thoughts their way.  Imagine them kind of surrounded by the glowing pink and yellow light of love if you can.  Whatever we project onto them will most likely be projected back to us, so doesn't it make more sense to send them love instead of anger, judgment or avoidance?   
(Sometimes WE are the snarly unlovable one and we have to learn to use this method towards ourselves.)
When we send love out to the world we are literally building and energetic bridge of love.  We may not notice a difference at first and some people will continue to choose to refuse love no matter where it comes from, but if we show perseverance and bring only love to a situation, we will begin to see amazing differences in our lives.  Even if a person refuses to receive the love we send, we will feel better for sending out love instead of negative, hateful thoughts.

Think of this, in every situation we are a part of where we deal with other people we are creating a sort of energetic vibration.  It's up to us whether the energy we send out is positive or negative, it's our choice, BUT, what we put out is what is going to come back to us.   What would we choose to have coming at us, negative energy or positive energy? We should keep this in mind every time we interact with anyone in any situation.

Imagine the difference we could all make in the world if we start building our bridges of love!